my mom got mad at me that my weight is dropping, i feel so sad… i’m already having a bad day… i’m so lonely i don’t even know anymore. i don’t wanna be alive (T_T) i hate myself, i hate my life, i hate my weight… i hate my stupid disorder i hate my family i hate everything
my mom said she’ll schedule doctor appointments… i’ve been telling her i’ve been gaining weight even though i’ve been losing, i don’t know how to go about the doctor visits… ueee
"i'll just stop my ed when i reach my ugw" no you will either keep wanting to lose, binge, or recover, or some combo of all 3. maintaining is just as much mental work as losing and just as disordered and you still feel fake the whole time for it. im attempting a balance here, ugh