HungryLikeMe

[HungryLikeMe @hungrylikeme]

@TeeKayTwelve This is what people who hate zero RB think zero RB really is.

[Jazz Memes @JazzMemes]

“The WIFI password is on the back of the router”

The back of the router:

[⚜️ @WhoDatKellz]

Christian McCaffrey week 3:

[HungryLikeMe @hungrylikeme]

@Ihartitz Who you taking: Alec Pierce or Mitch McConnell?

[HungryLikeMe @hungrylikeme]

Letting love find me in the jungle:

[Chuck Bass @ChuckFBass]

For all the casuals that missed everything that happened this NFL off-season, here's a quick recap

1. Dianna Russini was riding the dick off of Mike Vrabel for scoops

2. Every sports account is a prediction market affiliate

3. The Rams took a QB at 13 that McVay hates

4. Banner year for DUIs. Tony Romo embraced his inner Cowboy with one. Kyle Shanahan embraced his inner 49er by getting out of one. I think Jordan Addison had like 6

5. Stefon Diggs choked the shit out of his chef that he was banging then got 12 million from the Commanders who love that shit. The tried to trade for Josh Jacobs for the same reason.

6. Brandon Aiyuk became a role model to everyone who ever wanted to be a CTE influencer

7. ESPN fired everyone cool except Matt Miller who lost his arm then even more tragically was outed as a scammer

8. Aaron Rodgers reconciled with his family for attention

9. Falcons have two left handed QBs (Penix, Tua) with zero right brain cells

10. Tom Brady went off the deep end

11. Dolphins held tryouts from local citizens of Miami for every position

12. The 49ers electrical substation became sentient and went full Widow's Bay

13. Travis Kelce married an older woman. Rashee Rice missed the wedding because he was in jail for having a shitty knee or something

14. The NFL can eject players from games even when referees missed something (the DK Metcalf rule)

15. Everyone that tore an ACL or dislocated something is somehow on track to play Week 1

16. The fat kid from Superbad is going to kick your ass

[HungryLikeMe @hungrylikeme]

Hang this in the freaking Louvre

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I needed to move a sofa.

I mentioned this to an American. He said, "You know anybody with a truck?"

I did not know anybody with a truck.

He looked at me with real concern. Not pity. Concern. The way you look at a man who has told you he does not have a name.

"You gotta know somebody with a truck."

I asked how one acquires such a person.

He said, "You just do."

This is the third time I have received that answer in this country. It is the answer to everything here. You just do. There is no process. There is only the eventual fact of having.

He said, "Ask Kevin."

I do not know a Kevin. He said Kevin like I should. He said it the way you say a shared uncle.

I met Kevin four days later. Kevin owns a truck. Kevin does not own a truck for himself. Nobody owns a truck for themselves. Kevin owns a truck for a fifteen mile radius.

Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS TAKEN A VOW. HE DID NOT ANNOUNCE IT. HE SIMPLY PURCHASED A BED AND ACCEPTED THE CONSEQUENCES.

Kevin arrived on Saturday. He brought the truck. He also brought a second man.

I had not asked for a second man.

The second man's name is Tony. Tony came because Kevin came. Tony did not know me. Tony did not ask what we were moving. Tony brought gloves.

They moved the sofa in eleven minutes.

I offered them money. Both of them laughed at the same time, which felt rehearsed and was not.

I asked what I owed them.

Kevin said, "Buy the pizza."

That is the price. That is the entire economy. The truck costs one pizza and the pizza is not negotiable and the pizza is also not expensive and everyone knows what size.

Inside I said: THE FEE IS FIXED ACROSS THE ENTIRE NATION AND WAS SET BY NO ONE.

We ate on the floor because the sofa was against the wall and none of us wanted to be the first to sit on it.

Tony told me his daughter plays soccer. I asked if she is good. He said, "She's aggressive."

I still think about that.

Three weeks later, Kevin texted me.

"You free Sunday? Helping Tony move a fridge."

He did not ask if I wanted to. He informed me of a fridge.

Inside I said: I HAVE BEEN CALLED UP. I DID NOT ENLIST. THE PAPERS WERE FILED ON MY BEHALF.

I went. I moved the fridge. I have no truck. I contributed only arms.

Afterward, a man I had never met asked me if I knew anybody with a truck.

I said, "Yeah, I got a guy."

I have a guy.

I am somebody's guy now, too. Tony has told two people about me.

He describes me as "the guy who's strong for his size."

I have never been prouder of a sentence in my life.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I needed to move a sofa.

I mentioned this to an American. He said, "You know anybody with a truck?"

I did not know anybody with a truck.

He looked at me with real concern. Not pity. Concern. The way you look at a man who has told you he does not have a name.

"You gotta know somebody with a truck."

I asked how one acquires such a person.

He said, "You just do."

This is the third time I have received that answer in this country. It is the answer to everything here. You just do. There is no process. There is only the eventual fact of having.

He said, "Ask Kevin."

I do not know a Kevin. He said Kevin like I should. He said it the way you say a shared uncle.

I met Kevin four days later. Kevin owns a truck. Kevin does not own a truck for himself. Nobody owns a truck for themselves. Kevin owns a truck for a fifteen mile radius.

Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS TAKEN A VOW. HE DID NOT ANNOUNCE IT. HE SIMPLY PURCHASED A BED AND ACCEPTED THE CONSEQUENCES.

Kevin arrived on Saturday. He brought the truck. He also brought a second man.

I had not asked for a second man.

The second man's name is Tony. Tony came because Kevin came. Tony did not know me. Tony did not ask what we were moving. Tony brought gloves.

They moved the sofa in eleven minutes.

I offered them money. Both of them laughed at the same time, which felt rehearsed and was not.

I asked what I owed them.

Kevin said, "Buy the pizza."

That is the price. That is the entire economy. The truck costs one pizza and the pizza is not negotiable and the pizza is also not expensive and everyone knows what size.

Inside I said: THE FEE IS FIXED ACROSS THE ENTIRE NATION AND WAS SET BY NO ONE.

We ate on the floor because the sofa was against the wall and none of us wanted to be the first to sit on it.

Tony told me his daughter plays soccer. I asked if she is good. He said, "She's aggressive."

I still think about that.

Three weeks later, Kevin texted me.

"You free Sunday? Helping Tony move a fridge."

He did not ask if I wanted to. He informed me of a fridge.

Inside I said: I HAVE BEEN CALLED UP. I DID NOT ENLIST. THE PAPERS WERE FILED ON MY BEHALF.

I went. I moved the fridge. I have no truck. I contributed only arms.

Afterward, a man I had never met asked me if I knew anybody with a truck.

I said, "Yeah, I got a guy."

I have a guy.

I am somebody's guy now, too. Tony has told two people about me.

He describes me as "the guy who's strong for his size."

I have never been prouder of a sentence in my life.

[HungryLikeMe @hungrylikeme]

@MySportsUpdate Welp, there goes my best ball equity

[HungryLikeMe @hungrylikeme]

Jesus be like

[HungryLikeMe @hungrylikeme]

So I’m sitting here and I’m watching this movie, and all I can think is there’s gotta be something in the rule book that says a dog can’t play basketball.

[HungryLikeMe @hungrylikeme]

Just hit the HDMI port on the first try without looking at it. I’ve peaked. Anyway, back to bed.

[HungryLikeMe @hungrylikeme]

@DrMcDrunkerson @chilehenge2 @therecount It wasn’t shown that way in my timeline initially. Rescinded and deleted.

[HungryLikeMe @hungrylikeme]

@wimmers_jim @DrMcDrunkerson @chilehenge2 @therecount Fair, and I see it now. It wasn’t shown that way in my timeline.

[LeGate @williamlegate]

Hey Elon, it’s been 3 years… you’re now the richest man on the planet. Flint still has a water crisis.

[Bureau of Human-Bovine Cultural Affairs @CowboysStats]

aaron rodgers believes that vaccines may be sterilizing billions of people, and withheld this knowledge from the public for months

[HungryLikeMe @hungrylikeme]

But doctor, I am Pagliacci. @CaptJohnstarr

[HungryLikeMe @hungrylikeme]

@ScottAukerman @ComedyBangBang I’m freaking out bc when I moved into an apartment 6 years ago, my friend @CaptJohnstarr tried to set up my wifi password as “fart,” but it needed to be more characters, so it has been “fartfart” ever since.

[HungryLikeMe @hungrylikeme]

@adamlevitan Jakobi Meyers with as many tds as the entire Chiefs offense in the first half.

[AGAPE @MAG_Milli]

Dawg this is one of the greatest tik toks Iv ever seen