Simona

flava flava

[Simona @hungrysimona]

My lecturer just said “I was on planet earth when...” and proceeded to talk about dial up internet. I have so many questions 😦

[Simona @hungrysimona]

I like going up to strangers in bars and saying “is this new? I haven’t seen you wear it before”

[Simona @hungrysimona]

@hellyeahelyen he proposed a horrible restaurant for dinner, yeah

[Simona @hungrysimona]

every now and then when I feel down and out, I remember the time one of my exes ran to a restroom to cry because I couldn’t hear him at a concert.

[Simona @hungrysimona]

People can’t use you if you’re useless. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[Simona @hungrysimona]

I think question should be written as cweschon

[Simona @hungrysimona]

anyone who still uses the phrase “work hard play hard” needs to be arrested

including me

[Simona @hungrysimona]

people who get angry at others for having an opinion on their opinion confuse me.

Don’t be such pussies.

[Simona @hungrysimona]

Speak your mind. No one will do it for you

[Simona @hungrysimona]

waitress: *says something about guy’s shirt*
guy: its for my MBA
waitress: oh my god! That’s so cool! My boyfriend‘s watching the playoffs. Who do you play for?

I wish I was making this up 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Simona @hungrysimona]

the praying hands emoji is actually a hi-5?! WHAT

[Simona @hungrysimona]

this morning my new coffee barrister told me to “have a nice day” 7 times.

And I had a damn good day. Will go back excellent service 10/10 might marry

[Simona @hungrysimona]

@laynemichelle is it as cold as I’m imagining??

[Simona @hungrysimona]

3 most important things memes have taught me:
- I was an ugly 14 year old
- I’m iron deficient
- people who eat live octopuses are a new type of horror

[Simona @hungrysimona]

people who drink coffee without milk or sugar are serial killers

[Simona @hungrysimona]

whenever people ask me how old I think they are, I ALWAYS knock off 5 years. And I still end up telling them they look old

[Simona @hungrysimona]

Unpopular opinion:
the biggest blessing is to grow up ugly before transitioning to hot. Ugly people have the best sense of humour

[Simona @hungrysimona]

how come everyone’s AirPods look so secure in their ear holes??! My ear holes refuse to grip them and I’m always forcing at least one into submission. I think MAYBE my ear holes are too tight???

[Simona @hungrysimona]

I’m completely incapable of walking at a normal pace. So I’ve started muttering “I’m late I’m late for a very important date” whenever I pass someone. Give the people something to talk about.

[Simona @hungrysimona]

Did every millennial go through that phase where you thought you could sing so you recorded yourself on TAPE?