Husband With Kids

sharing the everyday struggles and excitement of parenting and marriage. Find my regular life on @i_am_ryit

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

The kids are finally asleep.. Now me and my wife can.. You know... 😉...Look at our phones in silent until we fall asleep. #parenting #tired

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

Kid translation:

What I say: “Soon”

What they hear: “Never ever, no matter what. Not in a million years!”

#kids #parenting

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

After three days stuck in the house with these kids... I’ve found a new appreciation for the isolation of the bathroom! #parenting #kids

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

Me: got my green on for st pattys day

Wife: no... you have a black shirt and jeans

Me: you just can’t see it...😉

Wife:🙄

#stpatricksday

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

My kids will NOT stay asleep! I think yelling at them will help...

#parenting #bedtime

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Friend: Would you ever get a tattoo?

Me: Never

Him: You're afraid to make a permanent mistake.

Me: *looks at my 4 kids* Way ahead of you.

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

My kids are finally old enough to play in the snow by themselves. Once they turn 22 months, you have to give them their independence. #snow

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

The kids always want a bedtime story. It is literally the only time of the day they listen to me. #parenting #kids

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

My wife wants me to take the kids out in the snow... but dragging crying kids through frozen water isn't my idea of a good time 😐 #parenting

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

Starting to doubt what they say about spicy foods inducing labor. I've had like 12 tacos with fire sauce n my wife still hasn't given birth

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

There's no greater sound than your child crying... on the other end of the phone while at someone else's house and you're on vacation👍🏼#yass

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

Tomorrow my wife is 20 weeks pregnant, and that means we get to find out the gender. What do you think? #babynumber3 #baby

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

Post-dinner activities include our 1 year old and the cat fighting over the food that fell on the floor and in the high chair #dinnertime

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

I looked up "chapstick holder" in the dictionary... it said "see: 'Husband'"

#husband #chapstick

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

3 year old: Dad, why are you fat?

Me: I'm not fat. I'm just big boned.

3: well, you must have a LOT of big bones in your belly

#fatdad

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

Me and my wife's parenting styles are most evident by the amount of ice cream we give the kids at bed time:

Wife: none

Me: way too much!!

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

There's only so much I can blame on the cat

Wife: who spilled this milk?
Me: the cat

Wife: who ate all the ice cream?!
Me: ....the cat..?

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

3 year old: mommy, why is your belly so big

Mom: because there's a baby in there

3: daddy, you have a baby too?

Me: no... just donuts

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

I get excited when my son runs to me with open arms... Then i realize he just wants my bowl of ice cream... #parenting #icecream

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

I pity my parents for not having an iPad when they were parenting. The amount of extra sleep it's bought me is well worth the investment.

[Husband With Kids @husbandwitkids]

Instead of "all evil", I wish the love of money was the root of a money tree! #money