huzzlebee

Just here to tweet into the void. Entertaining myself and the bot army.

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

More 80 degree days in March, when do we kick off praying for rain?

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

So she doesn’t want the side effects of a drug she hasn’t taken for a disease she hasn’t been diagnosed with yet

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

My mom doesn’t want to get diagnosed with the malady she thinks she has because she knew someone else who had it and they didn’t like the side effects of the treatment medication.

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

Have you had a glass of water today? A meal? No, soda doesn’t count. Been outside? Walked at all?

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

Nobody prepares you for the stage of aging where you have to bully your parents into taking actual care of themselves.

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

Ope, I forgot Adam Sandler casual or matching prison sweats, my bad

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

As a middle aged biddie, I love that the available clothing options out shopping are a binary between hot slut or 1880’s grandma and nothing in between

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

The way I need to be in the right headspace to survive the aggressive friendliness of Dutch Bros or Trader Joe’s employees

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

Happy first day of spring, it’s been 80 degrees this week which feels totally normal and not like we’re about to experience a totally hellish drought summer.

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

Imagine moving into a historically significant landmark and deciding to TEAR PART OF IT DOWN

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

Playing a game of chicken but it’s just me who needs to wake up for work tomorrow against me who wants to binge my entire book in one sitting

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

Every Mormon talking about tattoos or piercings or bikinis on vacation being ok now sound like the pirates code being more like guidelines and not the bludgeon they used to bully people with

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

You’re telling me there’s not a full coverage foundation good enough to cover up sparkly vampire skin?

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

Yo, the way I’m all in on hoping for a rapture tomorrow

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

I love having grandma hobbies where the definitive text hasn’t been published or updated since 1959

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

Waking up in America every day and asking if it’s the guns yet

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

So does everyone have that one thing an adult in their life decided they liked 25 years ago and all gifts since childhood are that theme? Mine is ladybugs

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

I may never experience the love of my own child but I’ll also probably never get hand, foot, and mouth disease from my toddler, so trade offs.

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

Me watching any period piece:
* pausing show
“So it would be inaccurate for her to be wearing a corset on bare skin like that.”

[huzzlebee @huzzlebee]

Nobody prepared me for the stage of aging where I get really excited to organize something