[Ace on shark tank]
Ace: Hello Sharks, Itโs Ace here.
*Ace doesnโt say anything after this. He stands there and stares directly towards the Sharks. Like 8 seconds goes by*
Mark Cuban: hey Ace. Do you have a business?โฆ
Ace: Ace here.
Robert Herjavec (who is visibly pissed off already and crinkling a piece of paper in his hand): so youโre going to come on here and say nothing? Itโs an opportunity of a lifetime. I sold a software company for 300 million and it took me 8 years for anyone to hear me out. And youโre not going to take advantage of whatโs right here in front of you? Whatโs going on here?
Kevin OโLeary: Ace, I want to make money. im out. Fuck you.
Lori (whos tits are looking absolutely huge): kevin! That is rude. give the guy a chance, maybe heโs just nervous. Come on Ace, I know you have it in you. What do you have for us? Why are you here today?
Barbara (also pissed off but not because of Ace itโs because everyone keeps thinking sheโs a lesbian): I need a soldier out there I need someone who knows what they want. Thereโs too much hesitation, and for that reason, Iโm out.
Daymond John: Ace, I know it hasnโt went well for you thus far but hereโs what Iโm going to do. Iโm going to offer you 250,000 for 70% of your company.
Robert Herjavec: Daymond he hasnโt said anything besides that his name is Ace. Are you crazy? There is nothing here.
Mark Cuban: Robert, hold on. Ace, you should take that deal from Daymond. Thatโs a good deal and I wouldnโt say that if I didnโt mean it.
Daymond: mark, would you like to go in on that with me? 125,000 each and 35% each way?
*mark pauses. He looks at Ace. Looks back at Daymond. Back to Ace. Back to Daymond*
Mark: letโs do it
*robert Herjavec immediately has a heart attack*
*mark and Daymond swiftly stand up and walk towards ace and shake his hand*
Mark: weโre looking forward to this. You made the right decision.
Daymond: weโre happy for Ace.
Ace: itโs Ace.
*cuts to survivor season 700 commercial*
*opens the door of the uber. Uber driver looks back, coughs a fuck ton and spit goes everywhere, and looks at the passenger entering the vechicle*
Uber driver: Anson?
Ace: itโs Ace here
Uber driver: Anson?
Ace: itโs Ace
Uber driver: this is for Anson
Ace: itโs Ace here
Uber: this ride is for Anson
Ace: Ace here
Uber driver: Ace?
Ace: Ace here
Uber driver: the ride is for Anson
Ace: itโs Ace here
Uber: you have the wrong car
Ace: itโs Ace here
Uber: please close the door
Ace: Ace here
Uber: get out of the car
Ace: Ace here
Uber: please get out of my car
Ace: itโs Ace here
Uber: please get out I will call the police
Ace: itโs Ace here
Ace: Ace here
Ace: itโs Ace here
Uber: get the fuck out of my car NOW
Ace: itโs Ace here
*uber driver pulls out a pistol and points it directly at Aceโs head*
Ace: itโs Ace here
Uber driver: if you say that one more time
Ace: itโs Ace here
Uber: this is your last fucking Chance to get the fuck out of my car or I have to shoot
Ace:
Uber driver:โฆ
Ace: itโs A