Alex Callahan

The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

@FreelanceRapper Weird

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

my dad just now, completely shitfaced, was trying to get out of my car and he gave up, put his head against the car door and mumbled "alexa, please get me out of here"
we don't even have an alexa

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

I hate going to the gym on Sat mornings because tons of moms are there & they always have gross stories to tell about their kids and today one of them said “omg Patrick’s 6th grade class just had sex ed and i heard him and his friends call cum ‘puberty juice’” so my day is ruined

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

And now I have my own personal reminder.

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

@FreelanceRapper Beautiful 😘

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

@FreelanceRapper Imagine all nerds you could make cry by hitting their drones at full speed tho

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

@Refuse2BCliche @FreelanceRapper 😠

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

omfg I just got a noise complaint for playing “believe” by cher loudly in my apartment on repeat for the past half hour while i cooked my nightly omelette on a friday at 8:30 pm it’s a little early to tell but this might be a new low

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

Sometimes i hangout with this guy and we workout or get food or watch movies and people have the audacity to ask if he’s my boyfriend?????no? Cant a girl and guy just be friends without there being other motives? i mean sure we’ve hooked up a few times here and there but still

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

@Refuse2BCliche NOT pictured not I, wtf

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

@Refuse2BCliche Also I pictured: THE SCREAMING CHILD WHO FELL OUT OF HER HIGH CHAIR 🙄

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

Swear to god the sing a longs this kid is listening to just said “The singles on the bus go *wink wink wink* 😘

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

Wanna see new features on your TV that you never knew existed? Let a baby play with the remote for about 12 seconds.

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

@AWouldBeHero @LetsNapTogether 🤗 🤗

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

@LetsNapTogether Chad 😱

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

@LetsNapTogether @AWouldBeHero Darn

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

Of course her name’s Heaven.

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

Officially moved in. No drama. Whatsoever. 👌🏻 🙄☠️

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

I gave a homeless man Monopoly money for April fools day and he didn’t laugh! What a grump. #war0naprilfools

[Alex Callahan @iAlxis]

#NewProfilePic