Funny Tweets!

ღ Tweeting quotes, Jokes & facts that relate to your everyday life! ღ I'm like 35% funny and 75% bad at math

[gregschoen.eth @GregSchoen]

I wish I had kept my 1,700 BTC @ $0.06 instead of selling them at $0.30, now that they're $8.00! #bitcoin

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

Short girls are the best girls ❤

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

dont judge a book by its cover

my math textbook has a picture of someone enjoying themselves on it

i did not enjoy myself at all

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

Best friends don't let you do stupid things...

alone.

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

I can spend hours surfing Twitter but I struggle with studying for 10 minutes.

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

Whenever I delete my text messages I feel as if I'm deleting evidence...

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

People think sorry is a magic eraser.

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

Think of a number.

Double it.

Add six.

Half it.

Take away the number you started with.

Your answer is three.

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

my shower = 30 mins

5 mins = wash and rinse body

25 mins = reflecting and deeply thinking about life, people and situations

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

tries to spell word

cannot spell word

uses different word

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

here's a list of people who asked for your opinion:
_______
_______
_______
_______
_______
_______
_______
_______
_______
_______

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

Tupac & Biggie wrote the book of rap.

Jay Z & Eminem are finishing it.

Soulja Boy & Chief Keef still cant read it.

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

STOP!

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┓┓┓┓┓┃ ヽ😫ノ
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┓┓┓┓┓┃ ノ)
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[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

RT if u came in like a wrecking ball

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

When my wifi stops working so do I

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

With random people, I'm shy.

With my friends, I'm crazy.

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

I complain about not getting enough sleep yet I stay up late for no reason.

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

i like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt ayone. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce."

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

parents: you do realize one day you will have to pay for all your own things

me: yes but today is not that day

[Funny Tweets! @iComedyFact]

Just because I'm being quiet, that doesn't mean I'm mad.

Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to talk.