Ryan Ahrens

[Ryan Ahrens @iRunAhrens]

@Jvnior @mc_sadri Hahahaha fuckin loser. Get a grip

[B.W. Carlin @BaileyCarlin]

White blood cells showing up to help the body fight infection and other disease https://t.co/04QMBUFmBA

[Ryan Ahrens @iRunAhrens]

If 2016 wasn’t the best year of your life, I simply don’t trust you

[Ryan Ahrens @iRunAhrens]

Same, except I’m not paid millions of dollars to play a game

[TMZ @TMZ]

Tom Brady says he's finding it nearly impossible to focus on his personal life half of the year ... explaining he feels like NFL seasons are similar to "going away on deployment for the military." https://t.co/3ZxZWbP2jW

[trash jones @jzux]

if you can’t handle me at my worst, that seems reasonable. i can’t handle me then either

[Ryan Ahrens @iRunAhrens]

So you’re telling me Weed is legal but I can only use cash to buy it. Makes sense

[Ryan Ahrens @iRunAhrens]

And they fuckin SLAP

[Jamalapeño @hotjamalle]

Calvin Harris tracks will be like

Match My Vibe ft. Cèline Dion, Lil Baby & Harry Potter

[Ryan Ahrens @iRunAhrens]

If you walk around all day with one air pod in, don’t talk to me.

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

Why is an Army Colonel spelled Colonel instead of Kernal?

[pastoral imbecile @finnegans_vape]

Commenting ‘nightmare blunt rotation’ on some family’s Christmas photos on Facebook

[Ryan Ahrens @iRunAhrens]

This week got me fucked up. Yesterday felt like Monday but today felt like Thursday? Hell nah, I’m gonna need some PTO for this

[Ryan Ahrens @iRunAhrens]

One day you’re 22 years old staying up to watch the sun rise. Next day you’re 27 years old staying in on weekends do dishes and laundry. How did I get here

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

I hate when someone makes an Instagram for their pet and then spells all the words wrong.
Either your dog is smart enough to set up, build & maintain a successful social media presence or he isn’t.
If you expect me to believe a dog did all this I think he can also spell “hungry.”

[sarah lugor! @sarahlugor]

i get so envious when people are like “my parents forced me to play piano”

like that’s very valid but at least now u have a cool party trick!! my parents played a reverse uno card and made me parent them… i can’t just therapize people as a party trick

[Ryan Ahrens @iRunAhrens]

@FloWinNew Bruh you for me mixed up, that was YOU

[Ryan Ahrens @iRunAhrens]

Why do Chick-Fil-A sandwiches sweat so much? Open the pouch and the bun is fuckin SOAKED

[DOM @DOM_Frederic]

the roof is leaking in milwaukee. they might be winning but this goddamn organization is a joke. this is what happens when you give away free tickets at subway