texasSHANEsawmassacre

I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

@get2thegigbos @mintgreenmusic Mint Green!! And Good Sleepy. Also Transit and Somos and Bay Faction

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

Why am I perpetually out of shortening. I feel like I buy it every time a recipe calls for it. Where are all the remnants?!!

[mada$y 💞 @madasyyyy]

me smoking by myself: “Damn my turn again?”

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

Also the dentist is always like “open wider”, makes you choke, and tells you when to spit.

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

Is it just me or is it kind of kinky when the barber puts their hand on the top of your head and tilts it to one side or forward/backwards?

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

“Well not partying, but whatever the tired, 30-year old equivalent of what partying is”

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

What do you call a turtle that’s active at night?
Nocturtle

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

If death cab for cutie were a type of house I think they’d be a log cabin

[MK Ultra sick of this shit @firstmalaisekit]

Gaslighting? With these prices?!

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

Was reminded of a shower thought I had two years ago… gender neutral deity is a theyity. You’re welcome #ShowerThoughts #TransIsBeautiful #nonbinary #HappyPrideMonth

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

@betty__deville … that’s a pretty good defense I’m ngl

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

@betty__deville Boooo I love it when you sing

[7 @goyimpnl]

get that tattoo , ur family is already disappointed in u

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

Had a dream that I was in a theatrical play with Drake and he kept turning into a lil puppy that I had to carry around while doing my lines and completely fucking up the whole play.

#Drake #dreams

[rachel yara @bugposting]

when guys pee do they hold it like a joint or like a cigarette

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

@souvlakiAndi This is one of my all time favorite shows

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

@betty__deville So nervous about my upcoming one ahhhhh

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

@headabovewater Hi Soupy, would you be able to donate to my fundraiser for the EMA Fund? I’ve been thinking about you a lot and I think you’d be totally behind it’s mission to make abortion not only legal but actually accessible to those who need it https://t.co/P2FSr9WhWN

[texasSHANEsawmassacre @i_am_ashaned]

When you don’t have to pay for the T on this day My Beautiful Thanksgiving Angel