My dad texting me to warn me that Taco Bell poisoned a bunch of customers in New York State
My brother in Christ, the safest day to fly in the history of the world was September 12, 2001
The way I would sprint over to show off my grip strength. "Alright, stand back folks. Watch a master at work." I pull the bars apart with ease. *everyone claps* "But wait, there's more." I then hold the baby above my head and tear it in half, the claps turn into shrieks of horror