Lisa

It always feels like somebody's watching me, and I've got no privacy. (she/her)

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

The “guns don’t kill people” people sure seem to think a book can make you gay.

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

@JamesOstime Brendan Fraser in the Mummy is hot and all, but why is everyone sleeping on Brendan Fraser in School Ties??

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

@KelgoreTrout @JamesOstime Finally someone mentions Tybalt

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

@R1DDLEM3THlS @STARCHAS3R I’m so glad you enjoyed my joke! 🥰

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

@folkloregulus @STARCHAS3R Don’t worry I was saying I love @zeppazariel’s fics! They’re so good it makes me like a villain 🤷‍♀️

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

My least favorite type of milk

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

Just that much closer to burning it all down… https://t.co/16BNdYaTHz

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

*holds up phone* AT LAST MY ARM IS COMPLETE AGAIN

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

@goooooose5 I’ve been on Twitter since 2008 and I probably haven’t changed anything in my profile for 8 years. I’M OLD

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

WE ALL DEAL WITH STRESS IN OUR OWN WAYS AND APPARENTLY MINE IS BECOMING A HARRY POTTER STAN ACCOUNT

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

Snape is king of the incels, would 100% shoot up the school because James “stole” Lily

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

James Potter is an adorable himbo and I will not be taking questions on that stance at this time

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

@saranderson Honestly 90% of my tweets are cries for help

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

You know it’s spring when you realize you’ve accidentally crushed an ant against your face because you suddenly smell that acidy dead ant smell

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

Dear @EinsteinBros, I think we all agree that you can go ahead and stop sneaking whole wheat bagels into the assorted baker’s dozen. I’m not buying a literal box full of warm carbohydrates to be sad!

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

Don’t mind me, I’m just thinking about the magician kid from Katy Perry’s Firework video and tearing up (again)

[Lisa @i_lisarr]

Remus Lupin is the Pam and Sirius Black is the Jim and I will not be taking questions at this time.

[Samantha Hicks @SamanthaHix]

If you’ve enjoyed watching everyday people making hedge fund managers cry, might I suggest:

Elizabeth Ann Warren