Allison

A girl in a bar once said I was "shitty... but in a good way."

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

Might be moving my inane ramblings over here: https://t.co/Xa9YsYbb3T

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

@jbcowartmd @Caprickah Hi internet stranger. Any recollection of when Story of the Year went on last night?

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

@StoryoftheYear alright friends I'm flying in from Austin today to see y'all... what time do you go on tonight?? I'll fly into a rage if I miss it.

[Bobby Belt @BobbyBeltTX]

"Everyone in McKinney is dead" lol

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

@OUleaf Ugh. Like 2 years ago I was paying $100 a month and now it's $460 and that's just... what it is now? No wonder there's an increase in uninsured motorists am I right

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

My @USAA auto insurance just went up to $460 A MONTH for 2 cars and when I called to ask why I was told it is because of "more uninsured motorists causing accidents in my area" what in the actual fuck, USAA.

So uh, who do we like for auto insurance? Who doesn't dick you over?

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

@StreamOnMax cool app.

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

@MoodyCenterATX hi, you need more than 1 exit from the building at the end of an event, and then a MUCH better parking garage/traffic management situation. -tweeted from the Manor Garage where I think I live now because all but 1 exit is closed.

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

@Eve6 Aw yeaahhhh followed.

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

Might be moving my inane ramblings over here: https://t.co/Xa9YsYbb3T

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

@theneener Boom followed

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

Okay who is going to #ThreadsApp and what is your username

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

Pretty good perk of the new job, not gonna lie.

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

New job: we have fridges EVERYWHERE stocked with all the Coke products and La Croix you could ever want!
Me: no thank you.

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

Leaning in to my southern grandma phase. I just had a tomato sandwich using fresh tomatoes from the farmers market and I found it delightful.

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

Y'all got any more of those blue sky invitations?

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Brett Kavanaugh Rules Against Loan Forgiveness Plan Citing Precedent That All Debts Mysteriously Vanish https://t.co/EVxAWvxvwD

[Allison @iamcoolallison]

Treat yo self 2023.
@ernieball
@dustinkensrue
@ChicagoMusicEx

[Jew in a Canoe ✡️🇨🇦 memoir now available! @WillieHandler]

7:30am: egg white omelette with mushrooms

10am: apple

12pm: cut up fruit with yogurt

3pm: banana

6pm: grilled chicken with salad (light dressing)

8pm: frozen yogurt

830pm: 2 cookies

845pm: 4 cookies

850pm: 8 cookies

9pm: bag of Doritos

930pm: Big Mac and fries