bird bidet

no beers no masters. 3A activist. rampant idiot. he/him

[bird bidet @iamhelvis]

The earth's core is actually a bowl of chorizo and queso

[Kali @Kali_de_Armas]

reading Plato for the first time and i'm dying laughing cause whenever someone is all, "Socrates, what is justice?" he starts saying shit like, "is a horse not a horse?" or "what's bigger, a city or a man?" and then the guy he's talking to is like "oh fuuuck🤯"

[Stephen Gibbons @Gibboanxious]

That camera-to-George Lucas transition is gonna live in my brain rent-free till I die.

[Morgan Barrett @MorganBarrettX]

Zeus: so two guys ran sub 2 hour marathons today

Pheidippidies: holy shit, I guess I’m going to meet them any second now

Zeus, unsure of how to soften the blow: No, they’re actually totally okay. In fact you were basically the only person to ever die from a marathon

[rune sword @runesword1]

that’s the last time we raid a void wizard’s tower. barbarian got struck by a stray orb and now he’s gone. none of us remember his name or what he looked like

[Doc Strangelove @DocStrangelove2]

Fuck it, welcome back World War 1 aviation fighting.

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

asking the black mold if i can go outside to play

[Bummer T. Vibes, Esq @VibesBummer]

Before google maps you just had a buddy in another car who said “follow me” then proceeded to run a late yellow at the next intersection.

[soli @solisolsoli]

The Book of the New Sun by Guillaume Sorel

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

can i come over and cast some basic spells and incantations

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

"The Boys are Back in Town" is meant to sound celebratory. But to those of us like myself who considered the boys our friends, it can hurt hearing it second-hand, like I'm the last one to find out

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

don’t be like that your honor

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

[ARGUING WITH A GRADUATE OF THE PONTIFICAL UNIVERSITY OF SAINT THOMAS AQUINAS] “This doesn’t line up with what I remember from VeggieTales.”

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

Japanese sci-fi: two robots in space, yearning

American sci-fi: man gets the author's beliefs on polygamy confirmed by the aliens of ramalama IV

french sci-fi: two horny bounty hunters visit the Galaxy of Breasts

British sci-fi: nuclear war. Everyone dead. America's fault

[turbomander @turbomander]

*on my deathbed, saying my final goodbyes to my friends and family when suddenly a cloaked stranger enters the room*
me: it…it can’t be…is it really you? am I dreaming?
my ork son who has spent the last 40 years in hiding and was presumed dead: gorgutz here now…father…

[The ReReading Wolfe Podcast | 重读沃尔夫播客 @ReReadingWolfe]

One of these.

[owen cyclops @owenbroadcast]

relationship advice: i (34F) have traditional christian family values but my wizard boyfriend (68,000M) keeps trapping my dad in small statues

[Mariella ! @pfaffphobic]

Let him watch Nightcrawler

[PzKpfwI 판처 @kampfwagen_I]

아니이거너무웃김

[PmAmTraveller @pmamtraveller]

A. Shipwright - Aegis.