jack

- mid 30s man
- unhinged lumberjack
- 6'1" : 185lbs : shit brown eyes
- liking my own tweets and QTing yours

[jack @iamjacksapi]

stop asking me to follow you. i don’t believe in following before sex - saving myself for the right person.

[jack @iamjacksapi]

@DowtyHannah oh wow I really wanna follow you but I can’t

[jack @iamjacksapi]

you’re on my to do list, motto.

and right at the top:

☑️ block motto

☑️ brush teeth

☑️ say goodnight to Swampman Dave

Just kidding!

I don’t brush my teeth.

and also fuck Dave.

[motto @motto746]

We waited for messages from people whose to-do lists didn't even have our names on the last line.

[jack @iamjacksapi]

Propagation of the species mags.

[mags 💫 @magsbutmorefun]

I know it’s a normal human thing to desire romantic connection but it pisses me off SO BAD !!!!! I have a great job, great friends, great family, I’m highly educated…. why does my brain want a MAN??!?? ugh

[jack @iamjacksapi]

@clairooooo25

[jack @iamjacksapi]

Thanks pookie 😘

[sonico ❤︎ xmas ver. @jiraicidol]

ANYONE can be a good person as long as they're not a bad person!

[jack @iamjacksapi]

it’s mutual, bozo

[holdmetillicry @holdmetillicry]

whoever unfollowedme i hate you

[jack @iamjacksapi]

But how fun is it?

[Mimi @Mimimochimeow]

I really enjoy being a beginner in jirai kei.
It’s so fun to try new clothes and build my wardrobe. As well as every makeup substyle in jiraikei is like a whole new world of makeup styles I get to try.
It’s so fun

[jack @iamjacksapi]

next lifetime, when you’re a mosquito. trust me, you’re gonna need it. everyone hates mosquitos.

[motto @motto746]

“the love that u give will eventually come back to you”

bitch when.

[jack @iamjacksapi]

@dainty4nne im not gonna pretend to know how twitter works, my timeline is as schizo as my posting

[jack @iamjacksapi]

gay era activated

[oscar 🇲🇽 @bloomphotofyb]

simp era over

[jack @iamjacksapi]

@motto746 you forgot to end the quote and idk if there’s supposed to be more or

[jack @iamjacksapi]

You should have waited til Easter Sunday

[189 @liljuuliet]

i was dead the past two weeks and suddenly i woke up alive today

[jack @iamjacksapi]

Blame Einstein

[el — ᨳଓ . - 1 day b/p free @incurablegreed]

why do liquid calories have to exist

[jack @iamjacksapi]

Who is Alcohol Calories Man? I hate him too out of solidarity but just curious.

[scar | edrtwt @lowcalx]

i hate alcohol calories man

[jack @iamjacksapi]

because it’s illegal to bet on yourself you fucking bozo

[pilgrim phlip 🦃 @MrPerfectPhilip]

Why do so many men gamble but so few bet on themselves

[jack @iamjacksapi]

something about coconuts

[arshita @arshitamisr]

what should i tweet rn

[jack @iamjacksapi]

Tell that to Ceasar

[kt🧝🏻‍♀️ @amishescapee]

The greatest betrayal is not that someone turned against you, but that they abandoned their own capacity to stand beside you

[jack @iamjacksapi]

what’s the point of following people when my entire timeline is Bilal enriching my X experience! Thanks Bilal!

[Bilal @itsBilal]

A little time on X can turn into hours of entertainment 😂

[jack @iamjacksapi]

@neu_rot_ic apology accepted, but don’t mistake kindness for weakness, I will rain hellfire down if it happens again I swear to fucking god