Matt Russell

Writer and journalist

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

Fair play to @amazon, those fuckers will do anything to get out of a tax bracket @JeffBezos #Amazon #space

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@MarcusRashford I can’t imagine what it’s like to get racial abuse after hitting kindness goals, countless times, and ensuring a government feeds millions of school kids.
I know many people care about the football bit.
But what a nice person.
Well played, mate.
In every sense

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@KermodeMovie How did the game Where’s Wally just get both easier and yet still doubled down.🙄

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@Nigel_Farage Finally, you’re being honest!

... Oh bollocks, just realised you’re talking about someone else. 🙄

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@KermodeMovie The only President who will have to ask “what is a library?” 🙄

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@BorisJohnson Is this a Brexit speech? If so, good on you Scotland! X

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@Nigel_Farage As a scouser, I assume you mean the ‘newspaper’?

Why do you care? Pretty sure your best mate called them all “losers”.

Total duplicitous idiot. Here’s a ❤️ though.

...Just to prove it’s never nice to be too vile. X

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@KermodeMovie @realDonaldTrump Recently found out that the baby porcupines are called porcupettes, so I Googled them.

Honestly, this and the other thing has made the last 24hrs absolute gold dust!

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@KermodeMovie The legitimacy of stupidity is now deranged and your thumbnail photo could not epitomise this entire year any better.

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@Conservatives Is that because of all the looming riots?

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@BorisJohnson Making that last sentence rhyme is most impressive and cohesive thing this government has ever done.

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@ThePoke The Hunger Games has clearly had a good old feast!

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

Spotted you on my road today... #JimCarrey #Hollywood @JimCarrey

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

Our streets, right?.. Though “your streets” makes perfect Tory sense.

[Boris Johnson @BorisJohnson]

Today I visited North Yorkshire Police to thank them for their hard work throughout the pandemic, and to meet with new recruits.

Police work diligently every day to keep us safe, and I want to thank all new recruits for joining the service and being part of this heroic effort.

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@BorisJohnson Didn’t do a great job saving India from it though.

I guess the most appealing factor about racism is you get to pick and choose who you save from facism and tyranny.

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

Walk to the nearest garden, find a hosepipe and turn the water on.

Then stand on the hosepipe and watch what happens to the water.

If you kneel on someone's neck for eight minutes, that's murder.

#GeorgeFloydMurder #GeorgeFloyd

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@BrookesTimes @thetimes Just balance your wallet and short sells on your head!

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@Jacob_Rees_Mogg Just balance your wallet on your head.

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@TLRailUK Ouch!

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

Swerving two rotten banana skins and a ghastly chewing gum seat, I cleared the coffee cups and moved in to my new home. At £40 an hour @TLRailUK was kind enough to bypass hygiene and leave detritus on the floor to play with as it’s always delayed. #CoronaVirusUpdates

[Matt Russell @iammattrussell]

@TLRailUK Could you let me know the delay of the aforementioned train so I can fill out my delay repay?