Jonathan Jordan

Just happy to be here

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

Standing on the brink of history.

[Jim Gardner-Johnson @DatDudeJD]

BAR OWNER: “You’re OK at making drinks, but are you good at changing the channel on a TV?”

BARTENDER INTERVIEWEE: “I am the literal worst channel changer of all time.”

BAR OWNER: “You start tomorrow.”

[Jonathan Jordan @IAmNotADoctor]

I’m just so happy man

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

The Arsenal. Your Premier League champions.

[willy 🌜💧 @willystaley]

You can be right about something for more than a decade — like, for example, that Drake sucks — and when everyone else comes around to the same realization, no one sends you a thank you card or apology or anything. They just act like it never happened.

[hannah ✨ @hannahafcc]

let’s not forget that he’s been able to do all of this whilst supporting arsenal during a title race. unbelievably impressive.

[People @people]

Pizza Hut's 'BOOK IT!' Summer Reading Program Returns to Provide Voracious Young Readers with Pizza Parties and More https://t.co/k7LZLaDSMy

[Acyn @Acyn]

Reporter: What do you make of Republicans saying that Virginia—

AOC: Wah wah wah.

We have asked Republicans for 10 years to ban partisan gerrymandering. And for 10 years, Republicans have said no. Republicans have fought for partisan gerrymanders across the United States of America. And these are the rules that they have set.

And so if the Republican Party wanted to start this, they did this in North Carolina. They drew out three Democratic members of Congress in North Carolina. They did it in Texas.

What they’re just mad at is that they have been accustomed to a Democratic Party that rolls over, doesn’t fight, and takes everything sitting down. And what they’re mad at right now is that we are here in a new day. And we have been asking the Democratic Party to stand up and fight, and now they did—and now the Republican Party doesn’t like the fact that they are fighting against someone who actually will stand up for the American people.

So if Republicans decide that they would like to revisit a ban on partisan gerrymandering, I welcome them. We have the bill right here to end this all today. But they don’t want to, because they like pursuing and continuing to enact an unfair electoral landscape. And so we have an obligation to defend ourselves.

[Kama @Kama_Kamilia]

Today’s theme

[Jonathan Jordan @IAmNotADoctor]

@blakethinks @regularaugust what a sentence lol

[van @vansturka]

REAL ANN DOWD AND BALD ANN DOWD COLLAB OHMYGOD

[latke @latkedelrey]

the creepy version of the baby shark song playing in this trailer

[NBC Olympics & Paralympics @NBCOlympics]

JACK HUGHES DELIVERS AMERICA'S GOLDEN MOMENT IN OVERTIME.

[Jonathan Jordan @IAmNotADoctor]

@SpencerShatt I need this more than anything

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

First look at Woody’s balding ass head in ‘TOY STORY 5’

[respectful huff @alexqarbuckle]

Al Swearengen: Christ. The Mania impends.

Dan: What is it Al? The coach on the ridge? Them four mop tops?

Al: It’s the Beatles, Dan. Quartet of cunts, borne by wind and wagon from darkest Liverpool to blow their jugs here, in our fucking camp.

Johnny: Ringo’s my favorite.

[Southern Dan @StolenDans]

"They call it American Football..."

[Lee Hepner @LeeHepner]

Watching this Senate hearing on Netflix’s acquisition of Warner Bros and omfg…

[Matt McDermott @mattmfm]

Must watch: NYT just released a damning forensic analysis of the ICE shooting in Minneapolis.

It flatly refutes Trump administration claims — confirming the motorist was driving away, not toward the officer, and the officer was not hit by the vehicle.

https://t.co/n8opkxbtmU