Rocket

// IC account for a very angry NOT HAMSTER OR RODENT THANK YOU MUCH! RP friendly, don't hurt my tree buddy.

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

@nataliyavdova It truly was, humie. It truly was.

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

This morning I watched a homeless guy fight an obese pigeon for a day old bagel as the sun rose. It was beautiful.

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Geo Holms @GeoHolms]

Gosh. Isn't Rocket the coolest?

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

// @YessicaYones @nataliyavdova where are y'all

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

// who do I have to bribe to get this fun as hell crack-verse active again?

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

I had a blast taking care of @YessicaYones' place

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

Eating a whole deep fried 10 pound turkey was totally worth it.

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

@YessicaYones I don't wanna go near her. I think she has rabies.

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

What the flark is a Four Loko?

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(913): I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

As much as humies annoy me I gotta admit this place has good sun for Groot and the humie living here doesn't mind my junkitude.

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

@xlaurieblakex Uh, he's old enough to grow a scraggly beard?

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

@YessicaYones *Rocket squints and quickly stands up, tail bristling as he yells at Groot* Hey! What're you doin' over there?! Where'd my cheese go?! *Groot shrugs as he moves closer to Jessica for the appropriate fistbump* "I am... Groot?"

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

*lounges around in @YessicaYones's apartment in his underwear, eating handfuls of pork rinds while watching TV. Groot seems content to tidy up the place*

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

@xlaurieblakex Maybe? Humie ages kinda blur together.

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

I honestly thought you and Jessica were a couple and the tall intimidating humie was just her beard.

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

Wait, the crazy girl humie all in yellow /isn't/ gay? I'm shocked and now I owe $5 on a bet.

[Rocket @IAmNotVermin]

@YessicaYones *Rocket crunches away and gestures with the remote in hand* He hits on every female he meets with his flarking broke ass Earth tech and awful dance moves! *Groot subtly nods to Jess as he sneaks the cheese can away and flings it out the window*