When Khaled Hosseini wrote “a man’s heart is a wretched, wretched thing. It isn't like a mother's womb. It won't bleed. It won't stretch to make room for you.” I had to stop, put the book down and breathe because never had a sentence knocked the breath out of me like that did.
The scariest part is that they aren't just lying to you, they’ve actually convinced themselves they’re the victim.
A person who can’t admit they’re wrong is a person who will never change.
When someone rewrites history to avoid a guilty conscience, it’s time to stop arguing and just walk away.
Protect your peace.
The most dangerous people I've ever met genuinely believe they're good. They rewrite every story, dodge every consequence, and carry zero accountability.
In their minds, they've never hurt anyone, but somehow, everyone else is always to blame. That kind of delusion isn't just toxic, it's terrifying.
This!!!
I have been saying this but i'm being called names.
Saying it has nothing to do with it.
The abuser would not be so bold if one has supportive parents or if ones parents were alive.
Every single time I see this kind of situation, it reminds me to always pray for my parents. The way my Dad sent money for tickets for me and my Son, made part payment for me to file for divorce and lawyer fees. That singular act meant I won't drown with the bitter protracted divorce process that went all the way to the High Court.
My Mum gave up Her job to care for me through the depression that followed.
They both took over the care of my 3 young children aged 1 month 1 year and 5 respectively
I got medicated, admitted, better, healed, and went back to work.
I have since got back on track, thrive both with career and business..
I am forever indebted that they didn't abandon me or leave me for the wolves to devour . They had my Kids for 6 and half solid years and I came home every 3 to 4 months to check up on them.
Life was hard, miserable, difficult and emotionally draining but that support meant I survived it with minimum scars and thrived again. Today I remarried because I wanted to on my own terms.
Our parents, Mothers especially, the society, we all must accept and allow abused women to return home if required, Don't abandon them, stop castigating them
No Sane woman will want out of a happy relationship/marriage . Most women will endure till they can bear it no more! By the time they ask for help irs usually at the very end whilst they are almost at place of no return , its usually survival call not warning anymore, could be the major difference between Full mental breakdown, and possibly death
Please offer help and not condemnation,lets break the cycle of abuse,neglect and generational damage
My father of blessed memories always says "Olobi oni gba ako" meaning no one can love your child better than you,no in law will love your daughter more than yourselves.
Being married doesn't make one parent less.
Usually most abusive Partners/ families are mindful of behaviours and characters when they know women have supportive families.
Our children are ours to love and protect till the end of time
May the lord grant Healing to every broken heart, may you all find reasons to smile meaningfully again
May Allah forgive the soul of my father, grant Him Jannah, May He continue to bless my Mum with longevity in good Health. May Allah protect our peace and grant us all ease 🤲🤲🤲
I hope this meets you well. If so, doxology. Not to take away from your repentance and your wife’s resilience, but I have a question for those at the back. Would you have been focused, growing in silence with maturity strength and grace if it was your wife who needed to repent? Would you have befriended all the men whose company she was enjoying while waiting for her to reach the humility and repentance you have so enviably reached?
Would you have waited for her to calm down? I’m just asking for the people in the back because the mic can’t reach them there.
Thanks and God bless
This is psychotic IMO and every woman in the world should watch it and understand what Christian Nationalist not only want from women but demand from women.
It's vile.
It's how they see women.
It's what they want the world to be.
THIS is what we are fighting.
No matter what you do, you’ll be the villain in someone’s story.
Maturity is being able to accept it, and not attempt to fix the narrative all the time.
I schooled in Kaduna Polytechnic, Tudun Wada.
KadPoly is the biggest Polytechnic in West Africa.
There are about 50 mosques in KadPoly but just one Chapel for Christians. Even inside hostels, there are mosques.
The Christian Community begged the school authority to give them just a plot of land to build a Chapel with their own money, the school blatantly said NO.
FCS, NFCS, and NIFES share one Church, and they are always having misunderstanding because one fellowship stays beyond thier allocated time.
The like of RCF, WCF, DCF, and co, use classrooms for services, and the school authorities always caution them to stop it.
I also schooled in BUK (Bayero University, Kano).
BUK and ABU Zaria, are the two biggest schools in the North, if not in Nigeria.
There are more than 100 mosques in BUK but no single chapel as at when I was in the school.
Christian Students pray outside—even in the rain. Classes are prohibited.
I once asked "Why?" and I was told that the then Emir of Kano said that not even the president (GoodLuck Jonathan) can lay a block in BUK in the name of building a chapel.
In many departmental fellowships, students always turned down the position of fellowship presidents, secretary and other positions that put them in limelight because some lecturers who are extremists in their religion could fail them.
Many departmental presidents stayed two to three extra years in school, not because they legitimately got carryover in their courses but because they are presidents.
There's one St. Augustine Catholic Church behind Ajegunle Hostel in Tudun Wada. It is the only "stubborn" Church in the heart of Tudun Wada and it is always burnt at every given opportunity by extremists. Many of their priests and members have paid the ultimate prize because they refused to relocate the Church.
Reverend Father Borogo Vitues, the then chaplain in KadPoly was recently kidnapped and k!lled by Fulani herdsmen.
The Church in the North is being persecuted, suppressed and suffocated.
It is strategically planned by elites and meticulously carried out.
We don't enter churches here in the North without being searched thoroughly because of su!c!de bombers.
Oh, Southern Churches, I'm happy for your freedom and liberty to serve God without fear of "we may not go out of this church alive."
Christmas is approaching, at least one or two Churches in the North will be bombed by terror!sts.
There's Christian Genocide in Nigeria. It is not CLAMOURING as many people assumed.
But Esther, Listen to this, because you are in the palace does not mean you are safe. If you don't fight for your brethren being slaughtered outside now, soon, it will get to the PALACE, and it'll be your turn.
Just as @SpiricocoNg said, you are not safe or special. You are on the menu. It's only not your turn yet.
I kept thinking about what unhinged thing I had done, then it came to me.
Its more of what I continually do.
First job after I had my twins, I was just concluding my first Msc, kids were starting school, and I was less busy.
Went to volunteer for an organisation, they had a
project running, and I made an important comment about what they could do differently for their data analysis.
Thing is, I had only heard my husband talk about it and was interested, so I suggested it to them. They fell for it and hired me immediately, with no interviews.