IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ

(they/them). late 80’s / early 90’s enthusiast. optomistic cynic. || gringo de LI, NY

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

there should be an international sign for “no, server, please don’t take this plate, at least not without asking.”

OH WAIT, THERE IS, IT’S CALLED, “THERE’S ANY AMOUNT OF FOOD STILL LEFT ON THE FUCKING PLATE.”

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

@PandaExpress it sucks to eat in your restaurant as a vegetarian. it’s 2021 and you’re asian cuisine, how is it not vegetarian-friendly?

(note; in PR🇵🇷)

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

@wAster000 anti-hipster? you only like the new stuff?

i’m only down with that first EP. after that they got soft

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

😷🙄

[MeidasTouch @MeidasTouch]

BREAKING: South Dakota sees the country’s LARGEST two-week COVID surge with a 230%+ increase in cases in the wake of the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally.

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

gross

[Andrew Kimmel @andrewkimmel]

“Anti-vaxx” / Proud Boys rally in Los Angeles off to a great start.

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

Proud/jealous of the little bro. #heisagoldengod

[little-T @wAster000]

I’m playing a show tonight?! Crazy.

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

@tomsegura kiss my dick

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

i still know everything.

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

@TravisReilly i went to see the daily show ~’00 and they were playing the opening track, “four”, and i was like, whos this band? and then i found out and was embarassed but started loving them

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

@jeremynewberger i must break you.

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

@AlisonWants i hit like, but, i feel the opposite.

[Occupy Democrats @OccupyDemocrats]

A fly fishing guide just confronted @TuckerCarlson to his face, telling him, “You are the worst human being known to mankind. I want you to know that!” Let’s make this go VIRAL!

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

🤦🏻zero logic

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

One day apart!

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

@MoscovaRoger13 @GOPLeader @SpeakerPelosi republican logic is mind boggling. when the truth is even vaguely in their favor, they shove it down your throats. when the odds are flagrantly against them, they have no issue fabricating things out of their …

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

😐

[The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller]

8 YEAR-OLD who was at the Nats game: "It was my 2nd shooting, so I was kind of prepared. I’m always expecting something to happen."

A gun-sick nation. 🇺🇸

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

@bertkreischer @Wawa whatever it is, it better involve Taylor Ham

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

@MatthewLillard @eric_time @cantante_cerdo same situation i wouldve gone with “Only posers die you fucking idiot!"

[George Conway ⚖️🇺🇸 @gtconway3d]

Every so often, he tells the truth about his lying.

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

@michaelianblack i am here for whatever level of dispute you two could/would have. may i suggest:

- rap battle
- celebrity boxing
- that inflatable sumo thing
- 100m Freestyle Swimming
- Moped Race

I’ll settle for twitter beef, too, but please let it manifest into the material world

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

@StevenArrington @Marilyn58614622 @LukeInFtCollins @StillwaterMovie I AM A GOLDEN GOD!!

[IAM SEG MEN TED Ξ @iamsegmented]

@StillwaterMovie Yeah!! I’ve been waiting 21 years for this sequel …