xo

toys and boys

[xo @iamsoapie]

I’ve gotten prettier every time I’ve had my heart broken...
keep em coming! 🤠

[xo @iamsoapie]

I’m tired of dog people.

[xo @iamsoapie]

1 bottle of cupcake moscato to the first person who can guess how many bottles of cupcake moscato I’ve had this week

[xo @iamsoapie]

I’m in love 😔

[xo @iamsoapie]

$100 to the first person who can guess how many crying selfies I have in my camera roll

[xo @iamsoapie]

I like going to restaurants alone bc most of the time if you play your cards right your waiter will end up getting you drunk for free

[xo @iamsoapie]

I would say I’m feeling depressed tonight but my roommate just brought me a bowl of spaghetti in bed so things are looking up

[xo @iamsoapie]

I love when cats put their heads in cups

[xo @iamsoapie]

@Reverend_Tanner You don’t know how much tonic water I’ve had to drink this week

[xo @iamsoapie]

Imagine living in a family that believes tonic water is the cure for coronavirus

[xo @iamsoapie]

can someone whittle a soap sculpture of me? It seems on brand for me. I can see that for myself.

[xo @iamsoapie]

Stop crying then bitch

[xo @iamsoapie]

I’m in bed crying and it hurts so bad imma pop a stitch

[xo @iamsoapie]

but I fr had friends, a boyfriend, and an appendix at the beginning of 2020

[xo @iamsoapie]

I’ve come to the realization that Stephanie and I will be getting married. I’m just waiting for her man to step out of the picture.

[xo @iamsoapie]

how sad am I allowed to get over a boy I met 2 weeks ago?

[xo @iamsoapie]

I keep putting full saltine crackers in my mouth and immediately regret it every time

[xo @iamsoapie]

a boy at target winked at me over his mask and I’ve never felt this way before

[xo @iamsoapie]

I got my nails done today and little did I know I would have one man tell me that I belong to the streets bc of them and another man tell me he wants to feel my nail on his booty hole

true story

[xo @iamsoapie]

@stephxxtorres Thanks for not having a mr. peepee

[xo @iamsoapie]

I’m convinced that if you have a mr. peepee you are incapable of be nicey to me