Ian

[Ian @ian892001]

I’m certain I’ll never drink again. I’ve noticed I don’t get stuck with things mentally. It’s like being young, when you can feel things deeply but then quickly get over them. It’s difficult to explain, but it’s definitely related to alcohol in my case.

[Ian @ian892001]

It’s looking good.

[Ian @ian892001]

It’s fine, especially as it looks like there’s a bit of stress there with the HR being up. I feel like when my salt is higher, that lightheaded thing is better, so I can test it now and keep an eye on the BP.

I’ve done pretty well with this.

[Ian @ian892001]

Off and on, I’ve been getting that thing when you feel a bit dizzy and unsteady upon standing and it’s on at the moment. I’ve been putting off checking my BP after last time. Now is the time, I suppose.

[Ian @ian892001]

I’m feeling much better now.

[Ian @ian892001]

I’m not able to cope with anything, and it doesn’t seem like that’ll change, so I’m just trying to keep going for as long as I can.

[Ian @ian892001]

10 months, but it hardly matters now. Along with my exercise, it’s just a distraction from the fact that I’ve given up.

[Ian @ian892001]

6 months

[Ian @ian892001]

13 weeks in, comfortably lean, and most importantly, little Ruby.

[Ian @ian892001]

I’m 8 weeks in and have lost just over a stone. I was 11st 13 3/4lbs 10 days ago, so it looks like things have balanced out eating between 2.2 and 2.5k calories per day as I have done throughout. I’ll wait until around 6 months in before checking my BP.

[Ian @ian892001]

I was obsessed, wondering whether I meant much to her.

In the end, I was heartbroken. I’d loved her like never before to end up with our family being threatened.

Fuck off.

[Ian @ian892001]

And then for months. Why?

And then you make it clear you are involved with the police, but then continue to threaten us. I’ve literally no idea.

[Ian @ian892001]

Horrible

[Ian @ian892001]

You never cared about me, did you? Even when you encouraged me to post something over to Twitter to keep me going. That was it, wasn’t it?

[Ian @ian892001]

I’ll push on without the alcohol and gingerly try some of the other things along the way. I’ve done a day today, and I feel good. It’s similar to last January, where I knew what I had to do and was going to do it.

I’ll check my numbers in a few weeks.

[Ian @ian892001]

I suppose another question will be how much irreversible damage it’s caused as it’s gone on for years.

[Ian @ian892001]

There were a few things I didn’t get around to trying last time as I was trying to work out how much of it was just alcohol. I felt most of it was that back then, and what’s happened since has kind of confirmed it.

[Ian @ian892001]

My partner has just accidentally broken one wine glass while washing them.

There’s something in that.

It’s time. I’m done with it, and I think she is too.

[Ian @ian892001]

I’ll wake up every day and be grateful, and the only important thing about the day is to just make sure I don’t drink any alcohol.

That's the new routine.

[Ian @ian892001]

The dog died, and I succumbed that night to the idea of it just being a one-off, but it carried on. I managed a week or so off it a few weeks ago but ended up back on it.

I’ll jolly well have to do it now though, so that is what I’ll do.