ian_cola

[ian_cola @ian_coala]

Forcing my wife to wear this around her waist and neck

[sana'a @teethgnashing]

ive learned i can make my gf start crying instantly by threatening to press the ‘monkey button’ (that causes me to be instantaneously reincarnated as a monkey in the mountains of awajishima, japan)

[Chinua Ikebe @fawizium]

You can’t settle for lukewarm women when you’ve genuinely felt feral attraction from a woman before

[Joseph 🕊️ @CaudilloXIV]

telling women i have a no socks inside the apartment policy

[Joseph 🕊️ @CaudilloXIV]

me and the girl i met at the bar 20 minutes ago