Ian Jayne

USN Vet, husband & a father. Documenting personal accountability, family leadership, and quiet strength from the trenches. Documenting my spiritual journey on X

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

I'm an atheist, and I talked to my wife about it last night.

I was already an atheist when I met her, so naturally I ended up with someone who was also an atheist. But over the past couple of months, I've been having dreams where someone is talking to me, along with these weird signs. I chose to ignore them because I didn't believe in any of that.

Our life is fine. Actually, it's better than a lot of my peers'. We got a new house this year, our child is healthy, and my relationship with my wife is stronger than ever. Seven years strong.

So why would I believe in God? We're not struggling financially or emotionally, and we're all healthy. There's no need for us to believe in a supernatural being.

But these past few months, out of nowhere, I've felt this calling that Jesus is real. It gives me goosebumps, but not from fear. More like a sense of awe or shame. Like He loves me so much, even though I'm so small and unimportant. And then, for some reason, all my beliefs that God isn't real just disappeared. Suddenly, I wanted to come back.

I don't fully understand why I feel this way, but I do. I want to return.

I hid it from my wife because I knew she'd laugh at me. That's how I used to be too. But I've been seeing so many signs telling me to trust in Him and tell her, that God is trying to save her through me. I still couldn't do it because of our old beliefs.

But last night, I finally did. I told her I'm starting to believe in Jesus Christ.

(This is going to be a long post, so I'll just shortcut what we talked about.)

She didn't laugh. I didn't expect her reaction at all. For context, the conversation about God started around 2 a.m., though I tried to bring it up around 1 a.m. There were a lot of detours because I didn't know how to say it. But she said she'd keep an open mind about God, since she never expected me to become a believer out of nowhere.

This Sunday, we're going to church for the first time as a family. I'm very excited.

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@criscrinkl What cycle?

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

I’m a legal immigrant, a veteran, a father, and a husband. I’ve done a lot of immoral things in my life. I lie, I judged, I fornicate, but I was called.

I didn’t expect my last post to go viral so before more people start questioning how real this profile is, let me clear it up.

I used to be one of those crypto bros chasing pumps and jumping into the NFT craze. Bought into a bunch of projects and kept switching my username and profile picture to whatever NFT character was popular at the time just to join in. Everything I posted was about crypto.

I’ve always used this account trying to find some kind of community on X. It’s gone through so many changes and nothing ever really hit what I was looking for. I found a little community here, but I didn’t want X to only be about this crypto community. I want to be more honest with what I’m actually thinking, even though I’m still figuring out my voice.

Kept changing the name until I finally put up my real picture and my real name.

I shared my encounter with God just to tell my story. Didn’t expect all the love that came back.

Please don’t call me a Christian. I have no idea what I’m doing. Tomorrow’s my first time walking into a church. I don’t know the traditions or how any of this works. I only started praying a few weeks ago and still don’t know if I’m doing it right. All I know is I’m trying to talk to God as respectfully and humbly as I can.

I’m going to use this account to share the journey.

Keep calling out the mistakes from my past, the mess of this account, and whatever mistakes I make next.

I’ll pray for you.

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@PastorShaunW We probably got done talking about God around 3am!

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

I'm an atheist, and I talked to my wife about it last night.

I was already an atheist when I met her, so naturally I ended up with someone who was also an atheist. But over the past couple of months, I've been having dreams where someone is talking to me, along with these weird signs. I chose to ignore them because I didn't believe in any of that.

Our life is fine. Actually, it's better than a lot of my peers'. We got a new house this year, our child is healthy, and my relationship with my wife is stronger than ever. Seven years strong.

So why would I believe in God? We're not struggling financially or emotionally, and we're all healthy. There's no need for us to believe in a supernatural being.

But these past few months, out of nowhere, I've felt this calling that Jesus is real. It gives me goosebumps, but not from fear. More like a sense of awe or shame. Like He loves me so much, even though I'm so small and unimportant. And then, for some reason, all my beliefs that God isn't real just disappeared. Suddenly, I wanted to come back.

I don't fully understand why I feel this way, but I do. I want to return.

I hid it from my wife because I knew she'd laugh at me. That's how I used to be too. But I've been seeing so many signs telling me to trust in Him and tell her, that God is trying to save her through me. I still couldn't do it because of our old beliefs.

But last night, I finally did. I told her I'm starting to believe in Jesus Christ.

(This is going to be a long post, so I'll just shortcut what we talked about.)

She didn't laugh. I didn't expect her reaction at all. For context, the conversation about God started around 2 a.m., though I tried to bring it up around 1 a.m. There were a lot of detours because I didn't know how to say it. But she said she'd keep an open mind about God, since she never expected me to become a believer out of nowhere.

This Sunday, we're going to church for the first time as a family. I'm very excited.

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@cheaptrekker I'm in the time of my life right now. Rock bottomed in 2019 but now living a happy life with my family. I hope it only goes up from here. 🙌

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

Thank you that I failed to end it all. There's nothing I can do to express how much I'm grateful to everything that was given to me. Please keep my family safe 🙏

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@Huskypalooza I appreciate that. Thank you! ❤️

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@keith_davis11 I will be keeping this in mind. Thank you!

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

I appreciate it. I'm overwhelmed with the amount of people commenting on my posts. I tried to reply to many people as possible. Thank you for reaching out. Many people want to talk to me right now and its a little hard to let people in. Idk if that make sense but hope you can understand. But from the bottom of my heart, I really appreciate it

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@Calangel89 I love that last sentence. I never thought of it that way.

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@jimaggie I hit rock bottom in 2019 and didn't feel his presence at all. I wasn't angry at him because I didn't believe in God during that time at the first place. I don't know why now but I trust in him

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@JudyBeeNC A lot of people have been recommending me Book of John but nobody told me the he was Jesus' bestfriend. Now I am more intrigued to read this book. Thank you

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@Wendi_Irlbeck I think this is the year where I stopped being angry with God and start becoming an atheist. The anger I felt during this year was too heavy that I think its pointless to be angry on something that do not exist. I let go, and that was the beginning of my life as an atheist.

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@proverbs1421 I always smile whenever I read comments like this. ❤️

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@wake_up_girl_3 @Jim122539 This must be a good thing to see. I'd love to see angels rejoicing someday

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@mooselips I've been seeing some versions of this with different art cover. Are Bible in 365 days complete Bible or just cherry picked stories or phrases you can read one a day?

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@JeffClarkUS @cookespring Thank you Jeff

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@DearS_o_n It would be great if it does but at this point of my life, I just want my family to remain healthy and safe.

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@hookskat @TAFKAB2 So much hatred and judgement. I wish you a good life. Really.

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@SavannahDare13 I've been getting a lot of recommendations to read the Bible. Is reading the Bible not from page 1 to the end? Is there a specific way to read it?

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

There are so many people suffering. And a lot of them are good people and innocent children. There's no way that there is a God. And if I am wrong and there is a God, He's doing a terrible job.

For a very long time, this is what I think. Not mentioning how there's too many self righteous religious people I know. People just keep pushing me away from God. I don't know which one comes first. My belief that there is a terrible God, or my belief that there is no God. That we are just a speck of dust in the Universe with no purpose. Just a happy accident. It's a sad and shameful belief.

I don't know what changed my belief and led me to come back to Him. To disregard the sinful people around Him and cherish Him because I myself am also sinful. To follow His voice and filter the noise.

I honestly do not know how to start, so hopefully, prayers, reading the Bible, and going to church are a good start.

I want to document my spiritual journey here in X. I might post something shameful, or offensive, or completely wrong interpretation of the Bible, but I think it's a good start. I don't know why, but I think it's a good start.

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@CNashSummer I appreciate the prayers and the very interesting story. I am curious if you know the name of the girl you're talking about. I would like to know more about her.

[Ian Jayne @ianjaynee]

@TeresaBinFla I will use this account as my spiritual journal. I appreciate the support!