Totie Capote

I CAN PICK UP A CHEESEBURGER WITH MY VAGINA!!

[Totie Capote @iasshole]

Due to email/pw problems, I'm moving to .@theiasshole effective immediately. Follow or not! :) Thanks for the fun.

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@Kyle_MacLachlan My 9 year old daughter was Agent Cooper and she asked me to tweet you!

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@hovy No!

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May have pissed off my companion by suggesting Simmons and Coulson are doing it while she's in deep cover. Whups

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Kind of excited by statement eyebrows all over SHIELD including Agent Cooper.

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@kaijsa True! This is like the most basic crime novel over here.

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I just had to say "Don't try to frame your sister." Bonus fact: not the first time I've said it.

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Awww my kid has her best friend saved in her phone as "$NAME bff"

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@mwhybark more like everyday cosplay

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Arglebarglebargle there is pizza on Gilmore Girls every 1.2 minutes. #fact

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Ugh why do I not have a caftan

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Also Melora Hardin as George Hamilton Lesbian yessss

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Transparent is like a non cheaply emotionally manipulative version of Parenthood. But I can love them both.

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"In every generation there is a chosen one...she is the Slayer." Feral Dwarf: l guess I'm not going to the bathroom ever." Word

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"I've never seen you at school before." Oh season 1 Willow

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"I don't actually date a whole lot lately." PS Willow ur gay

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Oh no I see Joyce and I know I am going to bleed it out of my eye corners when she dies in 4 years.

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Okay there's a guy in the locker room at Sunnydale and no cops. Wut. #buffylogic

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When we saw Cordelia we yelled like we small had a hernia. #softersideofsears

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Would probably have pity sex with Principal Flautie.