I did gay things as a straight man, and it started with a meme about parallel parking.
I'm 27, I've dated women my whole life, and last Thursday a coworker's text made me forget how to type.
It started as a joke. We'd been trading memes in a work chat for months, and he sent me one about a guy who can't parallel park, with the caption "this is you." I sent back something dumb. Then:
Him (9:41 p.m.): You're funny when you're not trying
Me: I'm always trying
Him: That's the funny part
Me: Is this you flirting with me?
Him: Maybe. Is that a problem?
I stared at the screen for a full minute. Every instinct I had said to type "lol no, I'm straight." My thumbs did something else.
Me: Depends. Are you any good at it?
Him: Come find out
I didn't go that night. I told myself I wouldn't, and then I spent the weekend rewriting every conversation we'd ever had, looking for the moment I should have noticed. Nothing was there. It was just a text, and somehow it had rearranged a room in my head.
On Sunday, I went for a walk with him. Just a walk. We talked about work and our families, and about nothing. At the end of the block, he stopped and said, "I'm not asking you to be anything. I just like talking to you."
I said, "I don't know what I am right now."
He said, "That's allowed."
It's Tuesday. I haven't told anyone. I'm not calling it anything yet. I only know that when his name lights up my phone, my chest does a thing it has never done for a name before.
I used to think I knew exactly who I was, and I'm getting used to the idea that I might just be someone still finding out.
I am straight, and I wasn't suddenly questioning that, but I understood why someone could easily be attracted to him. He was handsome, tall, built like a gym guy, well dressed, confident, and knew exactly how to carry himself.
Eventually, he smiled and said,
Anyway, I just wanted you to know. Have a good night.
Then he walked away like it was nothing.
I stood there for a moment thinking about the whole conversation.
He didn't need to convince me of anything.
He didn't cross any boundaries.
He simply approached me with confidence, respected my answer, and left me with a compliment.
I walked out of that gym smiling.
Sometimes, you don't have to be interested in someone to recognize that they have got serious game.
And that guy definitely did.
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