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bisexual menace

[. @ibsslut]

damn I’m really going to have to use my last remaining sick day tomorrow (today) so I can get some sleep and finish my final project for my class great

[. @ibsslut]

Posting feet pics on my labor union’s twitter account

[. @ibsslut]

I need to become more of a people person bc why did I go to a party tonight with a bunch of really cool friendly people and I was still most excited about meeting the hosts’ cats

[. @ibsslut]

I’m never buying @JimmyDean again y’all what the hell is this 😭

[. @ibsslut]

I miss how slutty I was able to dress in college. I don’t care that I’m a 25-year-old working professional now, I need to run that back

[Madelaine Hanson @MadelaineLucyH]

Ah yes, Wuthering Heights, the classic tale of two people with veneers and spray tans in their mid-thirties fucking a lot

[. @ibsslut]

going to my first pole class tomorrow night, who knows maybe if this works out I can quit my 9-5 office job and actually get paid a living wage

[. @ibsslut]

I don’t mean this in a male gaze-y, antifeminist way but rather in a self-centered, Leo way: I really would not be who I am without my fat voluptuous ass. Sometimes I walk past the mirror and it’s just like omg. That’s MINE? God is good

[. @ibsslut]

This should have done numbers

[. @ibsslut]

They were basically in a throuple with Kelsey

[. @ibsslut]

I am nottttt falling for the modest clothing propaganda. I’m 24 and I’m stacked, y’all are gonna see these titties

[fatou (: @fatouuboo]

She literally sang about her dad cheating on her mom and fucking up her family and it’s her least streamed song on that album

[. @ibsslut]

Calling Add*son R*e child of Lady Gaga is absolute blasphemy omg

[dobi ꕤ @wetdobi]

thought. ?

[. @ibsslut]

@macaronirascaI “Yes send money for gas and Uber” hell yeah girl

[. @ibsslut]

It’s just me and my dump truck against the world fr

[. @ibsslut]

Living with your parents in your 20s is perfectly normal and fine and financially responsible. Except for me. I am a townie loser

[. @ibsslut]

My mom just told me that my aunt bought another house bc she wanted a pool and I’m like…..as someone who will never be able to afford to own a home I actually don’t want to know about any of her real estate updates, thx

[. @ibsslut]

Argentinian friend texted me “congrats on the pope” lmaoo

[. @ibsslut]

Cubs fans are never going to shut the fuck up about this are they

[. @ibsslut]

I wish New Girl was still making new episodes. Would have loved to see Nick Miller’s reaction to the first American pope being from Chicago

[. @ibsslut]

Papa Francisco come back they picked a homophobic American