Prime Otieno

@realmadrid ||
InshaAllah👑🩺🛩

[Prime Otieno @icon_carson]

@the_marcoliboy 😂😂😂😂

[Rodrygo Goes @RodrygoGoes]

///🔥

[MRR ADDY  @vibewithmraddy]

low-quality videos always hit 🤣🤣🔥

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Kama kawaida vijana,Our time to eat good again has arrived. Tomorrow we will be attending the Nairobi city Marathon once again. Not to run,but to chase. Tulisema apa ndio tunapata financially stable women with disposable income to hold us through these tough kasongonomic times. Sasa wale vijana watafuata maagizo ya mhenga,mjue hii August inaweza wapata kule mpumalanga Johanesburg kwa kina Dj Uncle wafos mkiskiza Amapiano in a house balcony in the middle of a game park. Courtesy of a strong independent woman from upper kabete

Tulisema siri ni kutegea hawa wako nyuma,hawa ata hawakiambiangi,the obese,they are here to waste time jogging because they don’t have anything to do on sunday. Sasa wewe uko hapo kuwapa moyo,ukimtolea methali, “haba na haba hujaza kibaba mrembo,lets go” ukikaa kidogo unaongeza ingine, “baada ya dhiki faraja mrembo” . Remember to call her mrembo,even if shes 65 years old,they love that.

Inturn as you’re walking,shes going to point and ask you, “weh,do you know I am old enough to be your mother,ebu stop playing” If shes smiling while saying this,bas! Umegonga ndipo.

Now reply and say “miaka yangu ililiwa na nzige” . Shes not supposed to understand what that means so she’ll ask what? This is how you start a conversation. Mwambie ulichelewa kuzaliwa,lakini makosa niya wazazi. Hapa sasa she will acknowledge this guy has wisdom,I wonder what else hes going to say. And she will tolerate you,she lowers her guard

Na tulisema Wale wako huko mbele wachana nao,hao ni walalahoi. Wamelipiwa na kampuni,hao wacha wang’enganie kushinda pesa. Sisi mambo yetu iko huku nyuma.

And make sure you have also talked about manly things like How you know a friend who was working in a Ukranian Drone manufacturing company,and you buried him recenly in kisii after he was killed by Russian spys in Mozambique

Now In finishing of the running,itakua saa saba ivi,hand her your phone,ask her for her number,,mwambie wewe ni fitness coach. Ama basket ball coach,and you’ll be happy to help her burn a few callories since you dont have much to do. Akikupea namba kesho,Dont text her,text her on Tuesday,ndio asione kama uko desperate eh?. She’ll take some time to think,and then answer on Tuesday evening,

Na juu anajifanya ataki mambo mingi,she’ll tell you to come to be training her at home,on Saturdays. She has a big compound,Theres no way shes driving her Land Rover to your gym (that doesn’t exist) in uthiru to train. Ingia youtube hiyo usiku angalia mastyle.

After 3 sessions kule karen,you must intentionally erect,Amusha kitu! and she sees it,and then you’ll tell her “jesus! This never happens” pretend you’re ashamed. Tell her theres something about her,you just don’t know what. She’ll tell you its okay

Sasa baada ya hapa,niyeye huwa anakutega. She will start by overfeeding you. Baada ya hapa ni mauwano! Na hiyo shamba lazima ulime msuri ndugu yangu,sababu hiyo ndio inaamua sasa kama next week unakula kabeji bila nyanya ama coconut fish and salad.

Wuui! Sema kimeumana. Ukipita mtihani sasa kazi yako itakua kumuombea kikongwe wako asimaliswe na diabetes angalau uenjoy maisha london kidogo. Ukingojea ile kazi ya NGO alikuambia atakuconnect. Hapa naye utakua unamkumbusha kumeza dawa buana. Juu akikufa unajua kile kinangoja apa nje. Ainuliwe yeesu!

[Prime Otieno @icon_carson]

@mbiti_mwondi Real😂😂✔️

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Vijana sura ngumu mjichunge sana. Out here we have very small girls who have been radicalized by Anti men feminist who were abandoned by their husbands and they became bitter,and now they have recruited the girlies have to join them.

You stop a girl to ask her if she minds sharing her number and the next thing you hear in the estate group is the mother of the girl you stopped,complaining that theres someone who sexually assulted her daughter when she was going for mrenda in Quickmatt yesterday evening. Kesi kotini pap!

And people dont want to hear what happened. As long as she has said sexual harrassment, they automatically conclude and assume you forcefully tried to insert your penis in her as she screamed. Thats how it is. Sasa Vijana,Its at times like this you look for a girlfriend who only uses facebook.

TikTok,Twitter,Instagram and subtack,has turned our baddies into man eating monsters. Unfortunate!

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Lakini apo kwa Eve maina nakwambia siku mungu ataamua kunifungulia milango kitaeleweka. Akiingia tu hivi bedsitter mafriday jioni anapata nimeandaa mlo atari ata anashindwa aseme nini,Omena imechemka mpaka zimefunga macho sasa niyeye sinangoja. Kando ni ugali nimechanganya number one na namba two. Kando yake tena ni fanta Orange baridi kama kisu ya butchery. Akishiba namna hii alale kama thirty minutes,Omena iingie kwa sytem msuri

Saa nne niamshe yeye. Amka nanii,Ni masaa ya kazi. Majirani huko chini wanashangaa najenga nini saa tano usiku juu nyundo inalia kumbe najenga ndoa buana. Kinaeleweka sasa! Tumefanya mpaka hii inaitwa Parachute style. Hii napanda kwa ceiling kama brukenge najishikilia,nayeye ameeka mguu kama divider inapima supplementary angles. Kisa najiwachilia nakuja nimeingia mtoni bwana. Sunday asubuhi naamka kununua kitanda ingine nakwambia. Mungu wa Ayubu,niwewe tunategemea aisee. Najua Ipo siku utanibariki baba

[Emmanuel Macron @EmmanuelMacron]

Confiance et unité.
Donnez tout ! 🇫🇷

[Ema 🇫🇷 @iluvkylian]

Imagine having that kind of aura that even the president of your country makes sure you’re right next to him for the picture 😭

[Ray🇵🇹 @Ray_RMCF]

The most useless Top 8 finish in football history.😂

[Prime Otieno @icon_carson]

@YaneKariuki 😂😂😂😂

[⚡️🇧🇼 @Priceless_MCI]

Who has that one pep guardiola picture or video ?

[Prime Otieno @icon_carson]

@Oluchi_Utd 😂😂😂

[Prime Otieno @icon_carson]

@KatheuNzyimi Real😂

[𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥🐉 @KatheuNzyimi]

I'm watching JK live and these matatu guys have been talking for close to an hour now but still aren't making sense. Hakuna moja wao amesema why the called off the strike, just running in circles around Jeff

[Prime Otieno @icon_carson]

@KatheuNzyimi 😂😂😂😂

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Siet! Approach with caution. Hapa kabla upenye lazima ufanyiwe interview kama Chief justice aspirant.

Na lazima ukue pia na kitu tunaita liquidity,pesa ga kuwaste waste tu apa na pale, sababu mkienda hoteli kama ivi wameenda,inafikanga wakati mnapigania bill kama wanaume

Mmoja anasema “okay guys lemme pay for this”

the other brother says “No lemme pay guys”

uncle yao naye anasema “but you guys paid last time we were in serena hotel,waja nilibe”

Hapa unajua huwesi nyamasa,because men are measuring mnywatos. Lazima pia wewe uingilie kati,juu unaoa msichana yao. Na ujue ukioa huku huwa wanakurusha family health insurance pap!

Sasa Ukipigania bill alafu wakuachie,na saa iyo uko fuliza na Tala,my friend! 89sausand! Hiyo unajua ata huezi osha vyombo?

Approach with caution my fellow peasants

[Prime Otieno @icon_carson]

@bevalynekwambo3 Where are we on earth now?😂😂😂

[𝙋𝘼𝙐𝙇. 𝐎. 𝐍𝐄𝐊𝐎 @ouma_neko]

Ruto is no longer preparing to win 2027.

He is preparing for what happens AFTER Kenyans reject the results.

Look carefully at the pattern.

Njoki Ndung’u being pushed to the ICC.
Philomena Mwilu exiting soon.

Warsame already singing “respect the appointing authority.”

A carefully cultivated Supreme Court bench slowly taking shape around one man’s political survival.

This is not random.
This is architecture.

A 7 judge shield designed to sanitize disputed elections, neutralize constitutional resistance and protect power at all costs.

Kenyans must stop thinking rigging only happens at polling stations.

Modern state capture happens in the courts, in appointments, in institutions and in silent elite deals made years before an election.

Why is State House so invested in judicial positioning?

Why are loyalists being rewarded strategically?

Why is every independent institution slowly becoming politically obedient?

Because Ruto understands one thing:

The real battle after 2027 may not be in the streets.
It may be in the Supreme Court of Kenya.

Observe the SCOK carefully.

Observe the appointments.

Observe the silence.

Observe the programming.

This regime is not planning for democracy.

It is planning for legal protection after democracy is violated.

History has taught us one painful truth:

When the judiciary is captured, the citizen becomes powerless.

2027 will not just be about votes.

It will be about whether Kenya still has institutions strong enough to defend those votes.

[Movie Plug 📺 @MoviePlugHQ]

Top 50 Greatest TV SHOWS of All Time
⭐️🍿🔥

1- 🇺🇸 Breaking Bad (2008)
2- 🇺🇸 The Sopranos (1999)
3- 🇺🇸 Game of Thrones (2011)
4- 🇺🇸 Band of Brothers (2001)
5- 🇺🇸 The Wire (2002)
6- 🇺🇸 Better Call Saul (2015)
7- 🇺🇸 Chernobyl (2019)
8- 🇺🇸 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
9- 🇺🇸 The Office US (2005)
10- 🇬🇧 Peaky Blinders (2013)

11- 🇺🇸 Mad Men (2007)
12- 🇺🇸 Succession (2018)
13- 🇺🇸 Friends (1994)
14- 🇺🇸 True Detective Season 1 (2014)
15- 🇺🇸 Fargo (2014)
16- 🇺🇸 The Americans (2013)
17- 🇺🇸 Six Feet Under (2001)
18- 🇺🇸 Lost (2004)
19- 🇺🇸 The West Wing (1999)
20- 🇺🇸 Dexter (2006)

21- 🇬🇧 Sherlock (2010)
22- 🇺🇸 Narcos (2015)
23- 🇺🇸 Stranger Things (2016)
24- 🇬🇧 Black Mirror (2011)
25- 🇺🇸 House of Cards (2013)
26- 🇺🇸 Seinfeld (1989)
27- 🇺🇸 South Park (1997)
28- 🇺🇸 The Simpsons (1989)
29- 🇺🇸 Twin Peaks (1990)
30- 🇺🇸 Ozark (2017)

31- 🇬🇧 The Crown (2016)
32- 🇨🇦🇮🇪 Vikings (2013)
33- 🇺🇸 The Walking Dead (2010)
34- 🇯🇵 Death Note (2006)
35- 🇺🇸 House M.D. (2004)
36- 🇺🇸 24 (2001)
37- 🇺🇸 Prison Break (2005)
38- 🇩🇪 Dark (2017)
39- 🇺🇸 Hannibal (2013)
40- 🇺🇸 Mr. Robot (2015)

41- 🇺🇸 The X-Files (1993)
42- 🇺🇸 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013)
43- 🇺🇸 The Boys (2019)
44- 🇺🇸 How I Met Your Mother (2005)
45- 🇺🇸 Parks and Recreation (2009)
46- 🇺🇸 Modern Family (2009)
47- 🇪🇸 Money Heist (2017)
48- 🇺🇸 The Mandalorian (2019)
49- 🇺🇸 Ted Lasso (2020)
50- 🇺🇸 Homeland (2011)

Sources: IMDb, Rotten Tomatoes, Metacritic

Which series deserves the No.1 spot of all time? 👀🔥