the garbage man

im really just here for a good time and a long time

[the garbage man @icondotcodotuk]

hey do you wanna come over and look at this gift horse in the mouth

[Louise Jensen Duffy (also Ernest Jensen) @LouiseWeebe]

You’re listening to Sisyphus FM, the home of non-stop rock.

[Rata 🌇 @RANK10YGO]

if a website asks me for a verification code and i check my email and it's not in there within 0.1 picosecond of the request i roar and swing my arms madly and start hurting those close to me

[a beautiful mindfreak @haleyvemealone]

Guests use the weirdest cups 😂😂 nobody uses that one 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[A🪲 @seattleiminyou]

Pleading insanity to a traffic violation

[Natalie Would @_NatalieWould]

Me: My neck is a little stiff
Web MD: You're in rigor mortis

[realyuriyearners @realyuriyearns]

does anybody know if you can get sudden infant death syndrome at 23.

[the garbage man @icondotcodotuk]

americans be like: just got home from getting my wisdom teeth out

[️sof @sodazerosugar]

grok, skin me alive

[gavintino @gavintino]

Words are like ingredients for a sentence burger

[defleppardfan94 @lemonade_grrrl]

does anyone else doesn't feel good

[corb @awshuqs]

mi tink me gwaan reap what mi sow

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

unfortunately santa has a conflict this year but he’s arranged for Polar Express Grotesque CGI Child to watch you sleep instead 👍 thanks santa!

[trap possum @pimpinpossum69]

commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintances instagram post of their newborn baby

[tabitha arnold @thetolerantweft]

I went up to a gorilla at the zoo today and he tapped on the glass when he saw me. Unbelievable. There must be no signs prohibiting that on his side

[garshmo @garshmo]

Do you think Willy Wonka self harms

[ً @NotJosephGarcia]

Every single person in the world sees this 200-300 times a day.

[dumbass💟☃️ @adequatelyjed]

saw someone on facebook call the charlie kirk memorial a “kirkle jerk”

[comrade ella🧚🏻‍♀️ @marzipanlord]

it just don don me