Oshare

/

[Oshare @ideploy_]

@grndmaster_ My Gee, Congratulations 👏🏽

[Kevwe @kevwe_od]

Having momsi and popsi wey guide is literally 2-factor authentication.
Because after my dad died when I was in JSS3, it should have been over.
My mum was able to pay my tuition for uni abroad while sponsoring two other kids through private uni in Nigeria.
I am forever indebted.

[William · SOC Analyst (Tier 1) @WilliamInCyber]

I didn’t want to say this, but maybe someone else starting out can learn from my experience.

Six recruiters reached out to me on LinkedIn about remote cybersecurity roles.

I received zero offers.

One question kept coming up:

Do you have a recognized certification?

[iamopeyemi🃏 @OpeYeemiii]

Honestly, I think we need to start tweeting like we’re writing academic publications. 😭

If you make a claim, cite your source. Put the person’s name, the year they said it, and maybe even a reference list at the bottom. APA 7th edition, please.

I’m tired of entering the replies asking, “Who said it? When? Where?” 😭

At this point, Twitter needs in-text citations. Wetin na? 😂

[Juan Snow @juan_snow1]

People in a new helpdesk role, that ticket you’re struggling on, it’s either:

1. A networking issue
2. A permissions issue
3. Shit is just broken

The secret 4th thing is:

Reboot their machine because it has an uptime of 76 days

[Oshare @ideploy_]

@Omolomo_o @Omolomo_o bro, please check your dm 🙏🏽

[Oshare @ideploy_]

17 victories 14 KO

[Oshare @ideploy_]

Basit Adebayo!!!!!
What a guy…..

[Gbolahan Raje @gbolahan_raje]

Best colors OLED
Power consumption OLED (consumes less normally)
Price from lowest to highest LED, QLED, OLED.
Viewing angles OLED.
Brightest QLED

Most premium picture quality is OLED...sha.

[Joel | Work, money & real life @datGuyJoel]

Oops 😁😁😁

Excited 💪

[Olúmáyòwá.dev @akintunero]

I'm opening a small, highly selective CCNA mentorship program for professionals who are determined to earn their certification this year.

This is not another study group. It's a structured, results-driven program designed for candidates who are committed to sitting for the CCNA exam immediately after completing the training.

What to expect:
3 months of intensive, guided learning; 1 month of focused exam preparation, labs, mock tests, and review sessions; accountability, mentorship, and a curriculum built to help you pass

Admission is based on commitment, not interest. To be considered, you must already have your CCNA exam scheduled or have your exam fee set aside. If you're still "thinking about it," this program isn't for you.

I'm intentionally keeping the cohort small to ensure every participant receives the attention and support they need.

If you meet the criteria and are ready to put in the work, send me a DM. There is also an entrance fee.

[iamopeyemi🃏 @OpeYeemiii]

Hello everyone, good afternoon!

Shout out to you all. If you own a cleaning company, provide cleaning services, or work as a professional cleaner, I’d love to hear from you.

We are currently launching a new app that connects cleaners with clients, similar to how Uber connects drivers with passengers. We’re in the testing phase and are looking for cleaners to join our pilot program.

If you’re interested, please send me a private message. We’ll get you onboarded, and you’ll have the opportunity to start receiving cleaning jobs while helping us test the platform.

To register, you’ll need:

A valid driver’s licence
A PR card or valid work authorization
Your own insurance

If that sounds like something you’d like to be part of, send me a message and let’s get you set up. Looking forward to working with you!

[Oshare @ideploy_]

Pocketed the whole team 🇪🇸

[Oshare @ideploy_]

Zero attempt

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

I submitted a requisition form for 3 49-inch curved ultrawide monitors.

The total cost was $4K.

Procurement rejected the request within 10 minutes.

They sent a note saying standard protocol limits IT staff to 2 24-inch flat panels.

I immediately drafted a 6-page manifesto on the dangers of peripheral tunnel vision.

I emailed it to the entire C-suite.

I explained that monitoring a dynamic cyber-threat landscape on flat screens causes severe visual fragmentation.

I said when a hacker attempts a brute-force entry, the malicious code moves horizontally across the network topography.

I told them that a 24-inch monitor physically clips the ends of the payload, making it invisible to the naked eye.

I invented a term called "lateral data leakage."

I claimed that without the parabolic curvature of an ultrawide display, our localized firewalls were essentially blind on the flanks.

I included a heavily doctored heat map that showed our headquarters completely engulfed in red warning zones.

The CFO walked into my office 10 minutes later looking terrified.

He asked if we were currently experiencing lateral data leakage.

I squinted at my tiny, inadequate flat screens and sighed.

I told him I couldn't be sure because my field of vision was artificially constrained by legacy hardware limitations.

I said I felt like a fighter pilot trying to fly through a thunderstorm while looking through a paper towel tube.

He immediately bypassed procurement and authorized the purchase on the corporate card.

The monitors arrived yesterday.

I mounted them in a seamless 180-degree arc on my desk.

It looks like the command deck of a spaceship.

I'm not using them to monitor network topography.

I'm using them to play Microsoft Flight Simulator in ultra-panoramic 4K resolution.

I currently have the autopilot engaged somewhere over the Swiss Alps.

I keep a spreadsheet open on the far-left edge just in case someone walks in.

When people ask why the screens show a highly detailed 3D rendering of a mountain range, I tell them it's a topographical representation of our cloud storage density.

They always nod in awe and slowly back out of the room.

Never let corporate policy stand in the way of your immersive gaming experience.

[Oshare @ideploy_]

@olateeman This is assuming there’s a license to be revoked 😆

[Oshare @ideploy_]

Hacked.

[TheDataBunny (Jedi Bunny) @thedatabunny]

The algorithm strong with this one 😂

[TheDataBunny (Jedi Bunny) @thedatabunny]

@ideploy_ 😂 that algorithm is strong with you 💪🏾