farmer’s tan jones

“you were trying to tell me it was my fault your dad needed dick pills” | lost in the dark

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

look i do be postin body but I also be postin stupidity so don’t think this is just a hoe account, it’s a stupid hoe account

[𝐓𝐗𝐌𝐂 @TXMCtrades]

Between the girlboss calling her tits cannons and making her sub suck her toes, and the guy who injects his son's blood posting his girlfriend's vaginal microbiome report claiming she has a top 1% vag, I am fucking dying over here. Can't recall a funnier morning on the timeline

[Bovril-Gesellschaft @BovrilG]

NIXON: Bob, come in, come in. Henry, sit down. Now look, I want to talk about something, uh, something delicate.

HALDEMAN: Mr. President?

NIXON: Pat went in last week. You know, the, the routine thing. The doctors did a whole panel. The bacterial situation down there, the, uh, the flora, whatever the hell they call it. And Bob, the results came back…they came back perfect. Perfect, goddammit.

HALDEMAN: Perfect, sir?

NIXON: Top of the chart. The doctor told her, he said, Mrs. Nixon, in twenty-two years of practice, twenty-two years … he’s never seen numbers like it. The whole, the whole ecosystem down there, it’s pristine. Pristine, Bob.

KISSINGER: Mr. President, this is, ah, this is a remarkable finding, but I must counsel-

NIXON: Henry, hold on. Hold on a minute. I’m thinking, Bob, I’m thinking about the political dimension here. The Democrats, they’ve got nothing. They’ve got McGovern, who looks like a [EXPLETIVE] undertaker, and his wife, well, you’ve seen her. You’ve seen her. Now Pat, Pat has this, uh, this objective scientific finding. A finding, Bob. From a doctor.

[11 SECONDS OF SILENCE]

HALDEMAN: It is unusual, sir.

NIXON: It’s unprecedented.

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

@hxnnaxoxo I’ve missed you

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

@bajaboobin wawaweewa

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

@bajaboobin I been knew I BEEN knew!

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

do a show in Houston!

[PIXEL GRIP @pixelgrip_music]

peach 🔒🥹

[JT @jiratickets]

>phone vibrates
>instantly check notification like a trained dog
>outlook reminder for teams meeting in 15 mins

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

@bajaboobin hey

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

@bajaboobin Hey

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

@bajaboobin me when u leave me on read

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

@bajaboobin sorry :/

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

@bajaboobin need you like I need air

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

@bajaboobin Algorithm took my job

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

@bajaboobin my bad i just ain’t been around these parts

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

@yeehawlyss im a man of the times

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

@bajaboobin Thank you I love you

[farmer’s tan jones @idiotmagee]

@bajaboobin in my office, it will be mandatory