anomonous

[anomonous @idontfart]

Does anyone else get excited to see their friends too early? Then you just have to sit there all excited for like 2 hours until the time finally comes

[anomonous @idontfart]

Everyone chasing fame while I’m here chasing infamy 😈

[anomonous @idontfart]

The cooler I get the farther his hairline recedes

[anomonous @idontfart]

Heart of malice and a dick like a straw

[anomonous @idontfart]

rapper name big stinky

[anomonous @idontfart]

pomegranates are the legos of the fruit world

[anomonous @idontfart]

something about the smell of an uber makes me wanna drink

[anomonous @idontfart]

wanna be a hair half up girl so bad but all I see in the mirror is legolas

[anomonous @idontfart]

first date but it’s me making them take a literacy test

[anomonous @idontfart]

does she work out or just keep forgetting what she needed from upstairs

[anomonous @idontfart]

she carpal on my tunnel till I go numb

[anomonous @idontfart]

knit too hard I got carpal tunnel

[anomonous @idontfart]

i go to the bathroom at work and i just pick my nose

[anomonous @idontfart]

do u sunscreen ur nipples?