Alexander Rice

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

For some reason, I’m best at karaoke when singing Akon

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

I would easily body @KingJames in one-on-one on the hoop in my pool

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

Why are all of these cheeses named *something* jack? I vow to one day have a cheese monopoly and rename them to pepper alex and colby alex

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

Wait, what's that song where Kendrick says "Bismack Biyombo, sit down"??? @bismackbiyombo

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

@ifthericeisrite I graduated today. Just wanna say, I called it correctly

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

@hadenrhoades quite seriously how I filled my bracket

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

Words cannot describe the feeling of finding my sisters garnier fructis in the shower

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

PSA: Telling your grandma her chicken soup tastes like it has crack in it will not be taken as a compliment #edna

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

Every thanksgiving my mom asks "Alex, do you NEED that glass of wine?" and idk why. Like mom, it's only my 14th glass

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

I've eaten almost exclusively chicken mcnuggets for the past 24 hours

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

item # 3: Tabasco sauce. Somehow combining tabasco with the fraiche made paste that tasted unmistakably like cardboard #creamfraichetrials

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

item # 2: plain baked chicken. Pairs pretty well surprisingly, adds a sour cream flavor. may add it to hipster tacos #cremefraichetrials

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

item # 1: Sierra Nevada IPA. Pairs terribly with creme fraiche. bad start for creme fraiche #cremefraichetrials

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

alright so i've decided to exhaustively try every item in my fridge with creme fraiche. typical monday night. don't try this at home

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

so my mom brought me creme fraiche when she visited. idk how the fuck to use creme fraiche

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

When you sneeze into your elbow and accidentally hit a dab >>>

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

When you sneeze into your elbow and accidentally hit the dab >>>

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

This is the "perfect storm" of events fated to prolong each teams curse for as long as possible.

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

Do I keep my wolverine mutton chops to horrify my mother when she comes for parents weekend?

[Alexander Rice @ifthericeisrite]

I would love to hear a version of desiigners Timmy Turner sung by Jorgen Von Strangle.