canIgetuhhh

borg/er

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

God put the crumple zone in my Honda Accord because he wanted me to use it

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

My ears are full of bugs and they're singing me jaunty insect tunes

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

If i saw air bud on the court in the Staten island YMCA i would mix fentanyl into some peanut butter and send his ass over the rainbow bridge

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

A nice mushroom cream sauce can keep the bad thoughts away for up to 72 hours

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

Got the results back from my doctor, I tested positive for vocal fry

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

@squ33f minecraft newark

[1-800-EAT-SHIT @squ33f]

you are not immune to women

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

They got your goofy ass searching for the horadric cube while I'm getting horadric dome

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

Andrew Jackson Jihad- Guys With Boyfriends Are The Luckiest People In The World

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

I've had friends describe what taking LSD was like, and it seems exactly the same as drinking a Miller high life on the SI ferry

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

Almost accidentally posted a genuine thought, now I'm lying in the recovery position w heart palpitations

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

Sitting down and all my joints sound like an engine backfiring, dogs start barking

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

Having a beer after work makes your brain accelerate in all directions simultaneously

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

Women love it when your knees sound like a cap gun going off every time you bend them

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

I cannot tell the difference between perfume and potions.

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

I'm under my desk ripping all my computer cables out because i got scared thinking there might a woman at the other end sniffing my packets and datagrams and what have you

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

God had to make me a guy because otherwise my infinite love and compassion for my fellow man would be completely unrestrained by the constant worry of acting too gay. I would be too genuine for anyone to bear. Like staring into the sun.

[canIgetuhhh @igetuhhh]

If anyone has figured out how to stop being ironic please DM me immediately I've read every David Foster Wallace book, i don't know what more i can do