Igor “The Machine” Malboro

The Machine | BYU Class of ‘85 | Yale Aerospace Engineering ‘89 | Minge Enthusiast | 2016-2018 Shaun Livingston is the greatest mid-range shooter of all time

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

There are two things in life I need right now: Somebody to keep my dick wet and a permanent ban on @Buzz_Buckner’s account. “Daily buzz,” pack it up buddy.

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

Cropdusting like a mad man in the Hazel’s beer hanger rn

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

Turning 21 feels good for about a week and then you realize you have nowhere to go but down

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

Ah yes, the chosen one.

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

Crown spotted in Martis Camp, Tahoe. These guys clearly know what’s up #LANK

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

Is it really a runner’s high or are you just running downhill?

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

Being single and being unemployed feel the same. What am I supposed to do, sit around and crank it all day?

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

@Danny_reynoldss *VR Porn has joined the chat*

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

Update: The boy in question ordered a glass of red wine while I stuck with a reliable Pilsner. I’m starting to get mixed signals here. #InTooDeep

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

Is it gay to go out for dinner and drinks with one of your boys 1 on 1? Or is it just a display of true friendship? #FoodForThought

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

@Buzz_Buckner @Danny_reynoldss Shut up twink. @Danny_reynoldss please dox this guy

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

@Buzz_Buckner @Danny_reynoldss Get a load of this bullshit. Are you even real? Who in the United States of fuck drinks V8? #shrink

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

@Buzz_Buckner Buzz, I have to know, how fucking shitfaced were you when you decided to tweet this?

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

@Buzz_Buckner Buzz, I think we need to take the Valkyrie into consideration here. She’s a hard worker on the front lines and guarantees the group entry into any bar of our choosing. Not to mention she’s an absolute smoke and is always good for getting a couple free drinks for the fellas.

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

#Shrink every dude reposting John Summit’s Folsom Field concert announcement, keep it in your pants fellas

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

Bartender handed me a corona without a lime. What did I do to deserve this #shrink

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

Is there anything better than being drunk? I don’t think so #lank

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

@NickolasGerz How to lose a guy in 10 days mention #expand

[Igor “The Machine” Malboro @igormachine37]

Honey, I’m home