Mikaela 🥑

plot twist: i am like all those other girls.. whatever that means

[Crumbl @crumbl]

my brain 8am-11pm: too tired too function

my brain 11pm- 4am: i wonder if i could accurately guess crumbl's weekly lineup for the rest of the year

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

the more that I work the more convinced I am that I’m meant to be someone’s trophy wife

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

A solid sign that you drank too much is if you are laying in bed asking your dog if they are mad at you. It’s probably also a solid sign that you have an anxious attachment style

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

every time my Apple Watch tells me I have low cardio fitness I think about throwing it in the wabash

[Ellys Saw Chappell @ellysmelancholy]

girls waiting for the Ticketmaster verified fan presale sale access email for Taylor Swift knowing it’s just an invitation to war

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

“I have two friends who consistently carry cash… it’s Mikaela and my mom.” 💀

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

I am so good at multi tasking that I am sitting on my porch reading a book while sobbing and the reason I’m crying has NOTHING to do with my book 🙃

[tyler oakley @tyleroakley]

when you tweet instead of thread

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

if anyone needs me I’m going to be lying on my floor under a fan in as few clothes as possible, crying, with Olivia Rodrigo on in the background

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

if taking an alcoholic beverage in a concealed unmarked thermos to the public pool is wrong I don’t wanna be right

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

my therapist said there’s not many healthy coping skills that give an immediate release of tension and dopamine besides running so like most good things I’m probably gonna ruin that for myself

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

the money I spend on anti depressants evens out because one glass of wine feels like two ✨

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

the one jar of sauce /only thing to eat in my pantry wasn’t sealed properly and it grew mold and I HATE IT HERE.

I’m having wine for dinner

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

I’m pretty sure a new tattoo would cure my depression (has multiple tattoos, acknowledges it hasn’t worked yet but I have a good feeling about it this time)

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

it figures I would get the urge to be chaotic on a Monday evening. nothing happens on a Monday evening

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

“Don’t Venmo yourself from my phone” “it’s cool, I don’t even have a bank account”

[gabbi @gabbi_thoughts]

you wouldn’t believe the kinds of things that go on between me and a coke freestyle machine

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

The best part about small town bars is free popcorn and the touchtunes jukebox

[Mikaela 🥑 @ih8cilantro]

the all consuming guilt that accompanies an anxiety spiral on a sunny day is 0/10