kalli

i shoplifted from a blockbuster when i was 4 & when they closed i was convinced it was my fault. im 25 and still feel a little guilty

[kalli @ihatedavidspade]

if there is a hell, i rest assured knowing rush limbaugh’s soft, shitty body is burning and rotting there. #goodriddance

[Mr. Honeydew @bestbuddy1998]

how the world looks when you are spunch bob

[chief quiche @internet_james_]

I have a theory that masked DJs aren’t masked to conceal that they’re some other DJ, but rather to conceal that they’re nepo babies. Like what if Horsegiirl was Malia Obama. We will never know. Well played, Malia.

[Mato 💖💜💙 @ DELTARUNE CH5 SPOILERS @MatologMeatball]

This is unironically how some people engage with art.

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

OCD intrusive thoughts are kind of like having the Impractical Jokers in your ear but they are evil & want you to die

[bookishTachyon ΘΔ 🇵🇸 @bookishTachyon]

We’ve lost the art of just being like “hey man that was kinda uncool.” Everything has to be the biggest deal ever and people have to be groveling begging for forgiveness and apologizing profusely for every little thing. Sometimes a “yeah that was uncool my fault guys” is enough

[o @acquaintf8]

She just wanted to watch a movie… it was probably her first day off in a while..

[𓆩ꪜỉᨶꫀ ꫝꫀꪖꪹᡶ𓆪ᵀʰᵉʸ/ᶦᵗ @VoidinFlesh]

Hey so this is a huge sign of abuse!!

[kalli @ihatedavidspade]

me af i fear

[eryn💋ꕤ @erynsbloodline]

nate: I'm GAY!!!

Cassie:

[໊ @wynavira]

oopsies lost myself for about six years there

[ariana grindcore @jackiecore666]

when i was 16 my grandpa died in a juju on that beat accident

[ali @probablyalissa]

20 years of Neil banging out the tunes

[Big Chef Gazpacho ♡♪!? Seraï Sweep @BigChefGazpacho]

“Mythbusters proved that running in the rain doesn’t actually help you stay dry,” I say smugly as I stand still and get hit by oncoming traffic

[kalli @ihatedavidspade]

what if every ICE agent killed themselves at the same time ☺️💭

[tranthony bourdain @grimywaifu1025]

putting this on my line cook resume

[katie @katefeetie]

when a guy on the R train is screaming about killing all white bitches and I’m a white bitch but the next R isn’t for 11 minutes and I get a $10 charge if I’m late for my workout class

[kalli @ihatedavidspade]

@BigChefGazpacho consistently too

[claire @claireyael]

The Dare wanna be LCD Sound System. LCD Sound System wanna be David Byrne. David Byrne wanna be Kermit the Frog.

[$T. NO @chaoticf4g]

i’m sorry but this is so fucking funny to me ksjdksjd

[sofia @sofiaisamia]

me when the disorder that affects your whole life affects my whole life