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Ian Power
@IHPower
If any of my tweets annoy you, please remember I'm just trying to have a laugh. If none of my tweets have annoyed you, be patient, they will.
Essex innit
Joined July 2010
390
Following
15.7K
Followers
78.2K
Posts
Pinned Tweet
Ian Power
@IHPower
about 8 years ago
I, for one, am a great fan of Roman numeral puns.
Ian Power
@IHPower
about 2 hours ago
Hipster colleague doesn't have breakfast when his girlfriend forgets to buy his "favourite artisan sourdough". What. A. Twat.
Ian Power
@IHPower
about 3 hours ago
Have you noticed that people who say “I have no words!” usually go on to have far too many words?
Ian Power
@IHPower
1 day ago
Why are there no painkillers in the jungle? Because the low density of population makes all retail enterprises unsustainable.
Who to follow
Olaf Falafel
@OFalafel
Funniest Joke Edinburgh Fringe 2019-2022. my joke book, A Poo On A Pogo Stick is out now! https://t.co/DTeKNE1Q9d
Moose Allain Ꙭ
@MooseAllain
He/him. Illustrator, cartoonist, husband, father, son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, second cousin, grandson, friend, acquaintance, enemy. @
[email protected]
cluedont
@cluedont
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
Ian Power
@IHPower
1 day ago
The worst thing about public transport is the fact the public uses it.
Ian Power
@IHPower
1 day ago
If you’re English and check back far enough, you’ll find you are descended from immigrants. Think on, racists.
Ian Power
@IHPower
2 days ago
[job interview] “Describe yourself in three words?” “Always pushing the boundaries.”
Ian Power
@IHPower
2 days ago
True story: I once got into a Twitter row with a UKIP supporter. She later boasted how she'd upset "an ugly cunt of a priest".
Ian Power
@IHPower
2 days ago
"Like an Egyptian.” "No, this way.” "No, like an Egyptian!" "NO, THIS WAY!" The Bangles and Aerosmith arguing. Ft RUN-D.M.C.
Ian Power
@IHPower
3 days ago
Lif's too short.
Ian Power
@IHPower
3 days ago
Can I stop walking like an Egyptian yet?
Ian Power
@IHPower
3 days ago
There should be some sort of compulsory 'umbrella proficiency test', shouldn't there?
Ian Power
@IHPower
4 days ago
I asked the Doctor whether masturbation causes poor eyesight. He said, "You're in Greggs, mate".
Ian Power
@IHPower
4 days ago
I'm just a boy standing in front of a girl but standing behind an old lady who's telling the Doctors' receptionist her life story.
Ian Power
@IHPower
4 days ago
My German friend's just phoned to say her daddy's trying to make her go to rehab. I told her to call 999.
Ian Power
@IHPower
5 days ago
If it's drunk to the halfway point it's half empty and if it's filled to the halfway point it's half full. I hope this has cleared it up?
Ian Power
@IHPower
5 days ago
I’ve just read someone's timeline and their tweets look intelligent, well thought out and fact based. We don't need that fucking sort on here!
Ian Power
@IHPower
5 days ago
By the time you’re 35 you should have invested at least half of your liver in having a fucking good time.
Ian Power
@IHPower
6 days ago
Is it poor form to be absolutely delighted that every Arsenal fan is totally gutted right now? Asking for everyone who doesn’t support Arsenal.
Ian Power
@IHPower
6 days ago
“One of the aims is to be followed by as many strangers as possible”. - A parent explaining Twitter to their child.
Ian Power
@IHPower
6 days ago
When you proudly prove you can wank and catch it in the other hand.
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