IHS Senior Assassin

please let us know if your Twitter roast is too offensive or if you don’t want one, we will gladly take it down

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Lauren Rosen is dead. Now that she is in heaven she can go after the man she truly desires.

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Dil Thiagarajan is dead. Thankfully him and Claire both are this time.

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Since Jeff Cash wants a joke so bad, here’s one: Jeffrey Cash is dead. Unlike his pathetic magic tricks, death could actually make him disappear.

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Kendall breeden is dead. Expect her to post 3 different boomerangs of the crime scene on her Instagram story.

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Three strikes and Mariah Van Halm is gone! This wouldn’t be the first time she’s struck out with an Issaquah pitcher.

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Justin Buckner has been eliminated. He reportedly accused this of being fake news, then suggested this wouldn’t have happened if we had a wall. Sad!

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Allie Aarestad has been killed. She had already been stumbling through the halls after downing only two.

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Dan Constantinescu has been assassinated. During his own obituary he reportedly sat up in his coffin and asked, “wait, what’re we talking about?”

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Grace Chen has just been eliminated. Sorry Grace, unlike UT Austin you can’t appeal this one!

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Grant Williams has just been eliminated. Surprisingly, his placement in death is only his second acceptance letter of the spring!

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Anna lindahl has been killed. Sadly, her boyfriend couldn't save her, no wonder she always liked Jared Hummeny more than him.

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Cecilia Bailey assassinated mercilessly by her own twin. Blood may be thicker than water, but then again, so is marker ink.

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Alison Gentzen has been eliminated. Any joke we say will just go over her head anyways so maybe we shouldn’t bother

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Jun Ahn has been killed. We’re confident that he’s already turning a profit in heaven #decaordie

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Haven Moo has been assassinated. The sports med kids weep for the waste of 85 hours.

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Mady Kurpgeweit was evidently even less prepared for senior assassins than she was for her ASB photo

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Cole Thomas has been assassinated. Zumiez mourns the loss of their final customer.

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Keelin Dillon has been assassinated. She was truly a ride or die for whichever gang she’s throwing up a sign for here

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Kate Tuohy has been eliminated. She may DQ everyone out of spite, so tread carefully

[IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018]

Haley Morris has been assassinated. Classrooms are now eerily quiet as she’s no longer there to ask teachers 20 questions in one breath.