iiam

liam

[iiam @iiam9949]

@grizzlikesfilm Brotha assuredly has a fracture if not a break

[Mitya @Discollaborator]

I'm the guy on the ship whose job it is to shout "Land Ahoy!" when I spot some land, but I've been having such a good time with all my pals on this boat that I've been keeping quiet just to keep the trip going

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

if I was a therapist i wouldn’t say “our time is up” i would just start ignoring them and drinking out of a coconut

[maya @mayaviatwitta]

we’ll jump off that bridge when we get to it

[Handsome B. Charming @CTachio83984]

the boss: you can't be coming in here hungover

the james: im sorry

the boss: we need you drunk

the james: i am so so sorry

the boss: we need you in here stinky drunk. stinking to the high heavens

[iiam @iiam9949]

Aren't you a little young to be living in regret? Get your shoes off the carpet

[Hoops Crave @HoopsCrave]

20 years ago today Harambe was shot and killed.

[chad @chasedbywasps]

woke up and everyone was gone #theyregone

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

From now on there will be 50 pushups each morning, 50 pull ups. There will be no more pills, no more bad food, no more destroyers of my body. Every muscle must be tight. Also, I'm going to cook my hand

[rune sword @runesword1]

blood soaked owl always in peripheral vision. gets slightly closer every year on my birthday. good omen?

[NR. 1 AQUAMAN HATER @batmartian]

Early years batman comics will have everyone around him in awe describing him as something near inhuman cause of how badass he is and then u cut to his inner monologue and its just “fat fucking chud. Lucky amateur. Larper fraud. What were u thinking doing that are u stupid”

[iiam @iiam9949]

@PeteLittles @recapitul8r @anjelikamuhe Bro that was like forever ago who gives a shit

[Noah @NoahKingJr]

Me driving through my first pedestrian on GTA 6 after years of waiting

[roger (gemini) @rjpelleg]

Well let’s talk about Yaddle. She and Yoda bumped uglies, and then Grogu happened. Yaddle is the reason Yoda insists on non-attachment. She broke his heart. But she had had enough, and he deserved it. Can you imagine how hard it is to be Yoda’s wife? And to satisfy him sexually?

[Mëan Feen🏴‍☠️ @Robatuss1n]

how it feels to be the only one in the friend group who still smokes weed

[monica @domplerhotline]

@rotarydials Damn!!!!! My apologies to the mint pervert

[vost @foolibuster]

two cowboys