Some sacrifices are absolutely worth it. Do everything you can to secure advantages for your children. Be totally clear eyed and unapologetic about them.
I cried yesterday.
Like real tears.
And honestly… my heart still feels heavy this morning 💔
I tried.
I really tried.
I tried everything I could think of.
I applied strategies.
I stayed consistent.
I showed up every single day.
But right now it still feels like everything was for nothing 😔
I have just 8 days left to hit 5M impressions on X and I’m currently at 4.4M.
Where am I supposed to get 600k impressions from in 8 days?
How else am I supposed to do this?
And no, this is not a pity post.
I just needed to speak.
Maybe pouring my heart out will help me breathe a little.
Back story…
I finished NYSC last year and got a remote job in December as a Social Media Manager.
Salary was ₦100k monthly.
I worked in January, February, and March.
I was only paid for January.
No payment for February.
No payment for March.
No explanation.
No apology.
Nothing.
My client acted like everything was normal and expected me to keep working.
I stopped working in March and used my savings to start investing in myself and this platform.
After being on X since 2021, I finally decided to take my account seriously.
I subscribed to Premium every month hoping that if I stayed consistent, maybe within a few months I’d finally qualify for monetization and start earning here.
At the same time, I became a CapCut template creator.
I paid for CapCut Pro every month too.
After weeks of consistency, my account got monetized.
I made $28.
Then due to inconsistency, I lost the monetization again.
I also have a monetized Facebook account.
I’m trying on TikTok too.
I even abandoned my YouTube channels just to focus fully on X because I wanted this to work so badly.
While doing all these, I still kept applying for remote jobs every single week.
No response till today.
I even bought an MTN router and kept subscribing every month just to stay active online and keep posting.
Heaven knows I tried.
Now look at me…
No job.
No money.
No achievement.
And now it looks like I might not even hit the 5M impressions after all this effort.
I’m 27 and honestly… I feel tired.
Before now, I also tried content creation on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok.
But my camera quality was poor and my content always looked cringe to me, so I stopped.
At this point, I don’t even know anymore.
Maybe I’m just one of those people that always gets close to success but never fully reaches it 💔
And once again… this is not a pity post.
I just wanted someone to hear me out.
If this post finds your timeline, honestly just send me a virtual hug 🫂
Maybe that alone will make me feel a little better today.
A law should be passed in Nigeria that landlords should be the ones to pay for agency fees and not prospective tenants. You employed your agent to look for tenants for your house. Why should the prospective tenants be the ones to pay for an agent you employed?
I waited for adulthood to give me meaning.
Instead it gave me a calendar, a paycheck, a few good nights, and more questions. I have learnt to give it my own meaning, but every now & then I look back and I still see that child blinking in the fog, wondering why it still doesn’t make sense.
But everything is gradually coming together. I feel at peace with myself. Strangely. I’m reconnecting the young and the old. Yeah, getting a bit old will do that to you. Years of thinking, iterating, learning, gaining clarity (or trying to), seem to have paid off. I guess.
I think I now understand my life fairly enough, to fully live it. I could say for the first time, I feel alive. It’s like being back to being 15. I’m reliving the life I had to drop somewhere. I’m back to the abandoned campsite where I used to sit and say to myself, maybe I could change the world someday. I’m still learning to walk my path, only now, I believe I can fly.
I waited for adulthood to give me meaning. Instead it gave me a calendar, a paycheck, a few good nights, and more questions. I learnt to give it my meaning, but every now & then I look back and I still see that child blinking in the fog, wondering why it still doesn’t make sense.
Every person you meet is living life the way they know how to. Whether rightly, wrongly, sincerely, falsely, whatever. You may think they know better, can do better, or should do better. Maybe they do, can or should, but something holds them back. And the thing that holds them back including the reason for that inertia, is never so obvious, sometimes not even to them. And when it becomes obvious, change is never so simple.
I don’t try to offer people validity. I do not even claim to understand them. What I offer (which many friends mistake for empathy) is simply well-polished indifference. I do not rush to label, I do not rush to resolve. If I do not have to make a conclusion, I don’t decide; I can acknowledge complexity without collapsing it into judgement. It is not because I understand everyone but because I know how difficult it is to understand anyone. Including myself.
What I offer, if anything at all, is a nod across the room as if to say: your approach to life is probably wrong and dangerous and maybe you should change, but I am not your primary sanction. Then I keep to my path. Man is man.
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