jm

[jm @ijkm]

I’m wastin’ away again in Dookielettuceville.

[jm @ijkm]

@jrdnmrtn Damn I’m gonna have to try some a dem 👍

[jm @ijkm]

I don’t think there’s ever been a jar of pickled okra in my fridge for more than 24 hours. I need a five gallon bucket of them shits.

[jm @ijkm]

All I’m saying is that BBQ has turned into a fancy meal (which I don’t mind and places like Lewis are worth every penny), but the soul of it is still eating a pork butt that a family member stayed up all night trying to perfect.

[jm @ijkm]

People are trying to jazz up BBQ too much. It’s not a dish. It’s a lifestyle. The best is when you’re with family and friends, grabbing a bun right out of the bag and making your own sandwich half drunk.

[jm @ijkm]

The 90s would’ve been different without Dave Matthews Band. So many haters out there who are just miserable tone death pieces of shit.

[jm @ijkm]

Even the good hotels are nasty. I used to travel for work years ago and to this day, I hate them. Some dirty shit went down on that chair you’re eating cold Krystal burgers on.

[jm @ijkm]

I pissed in the hotel shower 5 minutes before I turned the water on just to disinfect it.

[jm @ijkm]

I’ve been wanting a new bowling ball, but I might have to buy a bottle of Stagg instead. My liquor cabinet is open 24/7, the bowling alley is not.

[jm @ijkm]

How I’ve made Stagg last for 6 months makes me believe I do have a little bit of will power.

[jm @ijkm]

I had to buy a can of Alp tonight because the closest store near the hotel didn’t have Zyn. I’m tempted to walk down to the truck and grab a couple stale used Zyns out of the coin holder.

[jm @ijkm]

I told the lady at Margaritaville the meal was good, I just needed one more fry. I’ll be damned! I’m full now.

[jm @ijkm]

@SECcousinShane Publix Manager

[jm @ijkm]

@RepSusieLee Your toilets are clogged with all the shit you’re spewing.

[jm @ijkm]

I was going to hit the gym, but it looks like it’s gonna be a Weller Full Proof and oven baked jalapeño popper night.

[jm @ijkm]

@NikkiHaley I’ve never voted for a democrat in my life, but I commend them for that.

[jm @ijkm]

We are in good shape if these bourbon prices keep dropping.

[jm @ijkm]

It is pretty awesome seeing that swoosh beside the Gamecock logo. I’m 40 and have been wanting it since I was a kid. That’s a long damn wait.

[jm @ijkm]

John Mayer - Bigger Than My Body Live (Acoustic) https://t.co/EPFs3eMQ7a via @YouTube

[jm @ijkm]

If you broke your leg during a street fight, you would get your ass beat and called a pussy for years.