Name darf nicht leer sein

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@Dauersterbesend @Michael29002650 @Kuchngeschmack Liegt eventuell am Wettbewerb

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@GamewithDave

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@d_h_ofenkaese Freue mich schon auf den Tag an dem Dave und Askaron endlich ihre Masken fallen lassen und alle sehen können, wer wirklich dahintersteckt. Demon und Cookie.

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@ESchwertklinge @17er_Langnuss @Kuchngeschmack Aber KuchenTV gibt sich nicht als Linksextremer aus. Das ist ein erheblicher unterschied. Er zeigt nur Shurjokas heuchelei auf.

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@Dave53289146 @ChaozAlex @AdeleGolde64335 @Moinerssen wie willst du das land meiden wenn du da geboren wurdest?

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@pathofexile I bought the early access and now this shows up

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@mannyfidel looks like a jonas brother

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@historyinmemes luther, münzer, wagner, beethoven, goethe, schiller, helmholtz, hertz, heisenberg, helmut schmidt, anne frank, sophie scholl, kaiser wilhelm

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@Die_Nyn @Kawoom3 @Kuchngeschmack Du gehörst zu keiner Bubble?! 🤡

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@kaisei1095 @djlong00 @schuld_eth @iamyesyouareno Wow very mature answer. 🤡

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@Lucyhcnl @Solinshko Das hat nichts mit Links zutun... Links steht für Gleichberechtigung. Ihr seid Femfaschisten.

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@Lucyhcnl @Solinshko Ich hab mir nichtmal den ursprünglichen Post durchgelesen. Der interessiert mich auch rein gar nicht. Ich find krass wie Misandrie hier so hochgefeiert wird. Aber WEHE jemand sagt etwas Misogynes. Heuchelei wo man hinschaut. Schon traurig.

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@kaisei1095 @djlong00 @schuld_eth @iamyesyouareno what are u trying to say? I met Japanese people that were incredibly rude. I met super nice Chinese people. Ofc there is dumb people from everywhere. Pretty racist comment. But what do you expect from Japanese about Chinese people...

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@NeugierDie Imp ist ens Bestens!

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@mikelowry82473 @Sir_Dammed @RomanPickens3 @Vocqs @offcuh Mfs dont realise slang words can get integrated into the dictionary with extended definition. Just because its not ur definition doesnt mean its wrong.

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@NeugierDie @Shurjoka war das nich der dude der mit kuchen nen interview geführt hatte und man gehofft hatte, dass wenigstens diesmal eine differenzierte Darstellung erfolgt? 😂

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@Solinshko „Männer“? Es gibt Männer und Frauen die strunzdoof sind. Beidseitig gibt es allerdings auch das andere Extrem und natürlich auch alles dazwischen. Sehr schwach eine Bevölkerungsgruppe wegen ihrem Geschlecht zu diffamieren.

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@0celot161 @Kuchngeschmack ich versteh nicht wie man so rechts in seinem gedankengut sein kann und meinen kann man wäre linksextrem. einfach nur peinlich die shurjokabubble

[Name darf nicht leer sein @ilctillinfinity]

@kaisei1095 @djlong00 @schuld_eth @iamyesyouareno so chinese people are not asian? they are most asians in fact.