i dont care ab losing, but it does really upset me that i cant play or focus on the game right now when i need something to distract me. yet i will still power through this
decided to go to uncaged yesterday to distract myself from nicotine withdrawal (i quit cigs yesterday lmao) and didnt care ab my result. despite that (and not feeling nervous) i kept dissociating through the entire event and my hands were shaking through all of winners side :(
taking a break from offline competing till end of june! im very happy w my progress as a competitor, but i want to stick to dedicated sessions and mentally shift from improving out of spite to only improving for myself. much love to everyone who has believed in me thus far <3