Alyssa Y

live, laugh, food.

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

PSA don’t ever put a bottle of añejo tequila in front of a candle in the dark because the shadow looks like a person.

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

(Listening to James Taylor) me: I just don’t understand what’s so special about him…
Marcus: he’s a talented singer/song writer, but if I closed my eyes and you told me this was the cover artist at the brewery tonight, I’d believe it. #unpopularopinion

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

“A Chad is the male version of a Karen.” #todayyearsold

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

last night: in a sea of cowboy hats and baseball hats…one bucket hat (my husband). country is what country means to you 😄 @FlatlandCavalry

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

Idk what I did to deserve this kindness. sat down at my gate, spilled my full Starbucks coffee all over the floor and the man across from me took my empty cup to get me another…??? angels on earth y’all.

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

a student asked for my playlist from class tonight and it was a peak joy moment for me 🥲

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

If you told me 5 years ago that I’d have the ability to shower/look presentable in 20 min and pack a carryon for a 2 week trip, I would only dream of those super hero traits. And here I am!

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

@bjnovak I used to say this to customers when I worked in retail, after asking if they need help and the answer was no. Sounds good = go f yourself 🙃

[B.J. Novak @bjnovak]

No prob = no problem
All good = continue as you are but you are dead to me

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

still waiting for the day I officially meet the neighbor I reported as a “suspicious person” to the 911 non-emergency line after living in the area less than 24 hours. lmao help me.

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

@TimLaMay So this is where we’re at 😅

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

I need help remembering it’s 2022.

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

have you ever been vacuuming and then get startled when it stops only to hear the sound of Bruce Springsteen’s voice and feel like there’s an intruder? no? just me?

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

my mom goes into her guest room that I’ve taken over and says “well this looks lived in” 🤣

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

Billy Ray Cyrus and Snoop Dogg released a song. This is not an April fools joke.

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

Me: *takes sip of coke* wow - this tastes like a mix of coke and Dr Pepper! Dylan: oh, I forgot. It’s root beer.

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

I get v emotional when I look at Goose’s scars and wonder what life was like before he came to our fam 😢

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

someone asked where I was going and apparently Disneyland sounded like New Zealand…then proceeded to ask what island lol

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

my attention span is one of a cocker spaniel and I’ve tried watching like 4 movies/shows but can’t get past 4 minutes in. idk what to do, more laundry??

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

@nottomwebster HAHA it is iconic!

[Alyssa Y @imALYSSAY]

“This sushi gummy tastes like the smell of a hotel room. It just lingers in the back of your throat. And for the record, it’s a Holiday Inn in Houston.”