BPH

Chronically ill from Covid - #LongCovid
Resources:

[BPH @imShhh]

The Frankenstein Virus & Long Covid

[Janiesaysyay @janiesaysyay]

https://t.co/mEx2eS3oGT

[Senator Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnson]

https://t.co/w6XLnaQunN

[Lyndsey, RN 💜🐭 @HouseLyndseyRN]

https://t.co/RC5DwK8etD

[Dara in Chains @DarainChains]

Five Years of Biological Receipts: How Chronic SC2 Destroys the Vascular System and Brain

For over 5 years, corners of the medical establishment have attempted to reduce a catastrophic, viral physical crisis down to anxiety, somatic symptom disorder, or an emotional attachment to labels. Meanwhile, the international scientific community has spent those same five years compiling an undeniable, structural ledger of organic damage.

PolyBio Research Foundation and the Long COVID Research Consortium (LCRC) have made one thing perfectly clear. This is a structural, endovascular, and neuroimmune war. It is not a psychological crisis.

How Chronic SC2 dismantles the vascular system and the brain over a multi-year horizon:

Tissue Persistence & Hidden Viral Factories

The virus doesn't clear after the acute phase. Digital transcriptomics and deep tissue biopsies show that SC2 viral RNA (antisense ORF1ab RNA, which indicates active replication) and Spike protein persist in deep tissue reservoirs including the gut wall, bone marrow, and lymph nodes years after initial infection. This ongoing cellular presence acts like an active factory, keeping the immune system locked in an inflammatory loop that drops virons directly onto vascular tissue.

The Vascular Toll

Continuous immune activation hits the cardiovascular infrastructure.

Endothelial Injury:
Current clinical data demonstrates a profound microvascular endotheliopathy, where the delicate endothelial cells lining the body’s smallest blood vessels are systematically injured, inflamed, and degraded.

Fibrin-Amyloid Microclots:
PolyBio's work with scientists like Dr. Resia Pretorius has mapped the widespread presence of anomalous fibrin-amyloid microclots and infected activated platelets. These dense, breakdown-resistant clots physically choke the microcapillaries, cutting off oxygen delivery to deep tissues and causing widespread cellular hypoxia.

NETs:
Innate immune cells (neutrophils) are hyper-activated, spitting out webs of DNA (NETs) that further clog the vascular highway and drive tissue degradation.

The Brain Attack: Perfusion & Leaky Barriers

When the microvascular highway is choked, the brain pays the price.

Hypoxia & Reduced Flow:
Studies confirm significantly reduced cerebral and microvascular blood flow. The brain is quite literally gasping for oxygen because clogged, narrowed capillaries cannot deliver adequate perfusion.

Blood-Brain Barrier Collapse:
Endovascular inflammation breaks down the tight junctions of the BBB. When the protective wall leaks, peripheral cytokines and inflammatory debris bleed directly into the central nervous system.

Neuroinflammatory Steady State:
Advanced neuroimaging (such as dual PET-MRI imaging by PolyBio-supported researchers like Dr. Michael VanElzakker) reveals active, neuroinflammation. Neural-derived exosomes show markers of severe astrocyte turnover. The brain is forced into a hyper-reactive inflammatory steady state, triggering profound cognitive deficits, verbal fluency drops, and severe dysautonomia.

🛑 Psychology Full Stop

When a patient has a leaky blood-brain barrier, amyloid microclots choking their capillaries, vascular compressions, and active virus in tissues, psychiatry and psychology are the wrong medical disciplines.

A psychologist cannot talk a fibrin-amyloid microclot out of a capillary.
Cognitive behavioral therapy cannot repair an injured endothelial lining or stop a viral reservoir in the bone marrow from churning out toxic proteins. Mindset tools for patients suffering from cerebral hypoperfusion and tissue hypoxia is a severe failure of basic clinical logic.

Reframing a measurable, multi-systemic vascular firestorm as an issue of identity is an act of clinical avoidance. Patients do not need coping to accept their own cellular disintegration. They need hematologists, vascular surgeons, immunologists, and targeted meds. The debate over semantics is over, the era of hard vascular mapping is here.

[FBI Detroit @FBIDetroit]

NEWS RELEASE: Two researchers with the National Institutes of Health were charged with conspiracy to smuggle monkeypox into the United States and giving false statements to federal law enforcement. A federal complaint alleges that the researchers told Customs and Border Protection (CBP) their case contained diagnostic and testing equipment. However, a investigation by CBP and FBI agents uncovered 113 vials, 18 of which have been verified to contain monkeypox as of today’s date.

This investigation was conducted by the FBI Detroit Joint Terrorism Task Force, along with assistance from the @FBIBillings ' Missoula Resident Agency, the U.S. Customs and Border Protection team at Detroit Metro Airport, and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services – OIG.

Read more: https://t.co/WV7w5qmKlh

[BPH @imShhh]

@brokenbarpublic 😿☹️💔

[🍁KayElle N 95+ @KayElleTweets]

“🚨NORWEGIAN CONFIRMATION BOMBSHELL:
COVID infection leaves lasting, hidden scars on the heart muscle, even years later.”

A Cardiovascular & Thoracic Surgeon is trying to warn you.

But you keep listening to politicians & billionaires.

[Deborah Holloway 😷 🇺🇦🇨🇦 @DebHolloway]

“Believing that COVID destroys your organs (it does) and that there's no reliable way to heal from this damage (there isn't) is scary! It's much more pleasant to think people are just stuck in weird brain feedback loops they can get out of with positive thinking.”

[RexesRule ⚓USN ⚓😺 🦝 @CatsRule2023]

In Memoriam: Christine Cotton

Christine Cotton was a biostatistician who spent twenty-five years inside the pharmaceutical industry - managing clinical data, running a contract research organization she founded, and holding the rigorous standards of Good Clinical Practice as her professional creed.

She was not a physician, nor an activist by temperament. She was a numbers person, trained to spot anomalies in datasets that others might overlook.

That training became her calling when, in December 2020, she turned her expertise to the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine trial documents.

What she found was catastrophic: protocols violated, data inconsistencies, and a commercial product released to the public that did not match the formulation tested in the pivotal trial.

She detailed her findings in exhaustive reports, slides, and public presentations. She filed formal complaints with French health authorities. She became what the French call a lanceuse d’alerte - a whistleblower.

In her final message, posted on June 2, 2026, Christine described the toll: pain radiating from her lower back into her legs, burning sensations across her skin, a year of futile consultations with neurologists, rheumatologists, pain centers, homeopaths, and magnetizers.

Nothing helped. She wrote that the suffering began at the moment she lodged her complaint.

Whether the illness was coincidence, consequence, or something more complex will remain a matter of debate and investigation. What is not debatable is that she reached the limit of what a human body and spirit could endure.

Her analysis of the Pfizer trials remains online, as do her earlier reports and interviews. They stand as a testament to one woman’s refusal to look away from data that contradicted the official narrative.

𝗛𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗲𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗲𝗯𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲, 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗹, 𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆.

May her soul rest in the peace she sought. May her work continue to be read, tested, and acted upon by those who still believe that data, properly examined, should never be subordinated to politics or profit.

Rest in light, Christine. You carried the torch as far as your strength allowed.

The rest is for those who remain.

[BPH @imShhh]

Those monsters. What they've done to us.

[Christine Cotton OFFICIEL @StatChrisCotton]

Nous sommes le 02 juin 2026, quand vous lirez ces lignes j’aurais quitté ce monde.
Pour ceux qui ne me connaissent pas, je m’appelle Christine Cotton, je suis ce qu’on appelle une lanceuse d’alerte. j’ai travaillé 25 ans pour l’industrie pharmaceutique dans la gestion et l’analyse des données cliniques. En tant que biostatisticienne, Depuis décembre 2020, je me suis plongée dans les documents du vaccin covid du laboratoire pfizer. J’ai ecrit de nombreux documents et fait de nombreuses émissions pour partager les vrais résultats. Mes conclusions sont catastrophiques, en plus de la non validité des résultats due à des erreurs voire des fraudes manifestes. Le vaccin pfizer que la population a recu, que vous avez peut-être recu n’est pas celui de l’essai clinique au 95% d’efficacité annoncée par tous les politiques, journalistes et médecins de plateau. On vous a administré un produit pour lequel il n’y avait strictement aucun résultat , ni d’efficacité, ni de tolérance. Ce message n’a pas pour but de faire du sensationnalisme sur les reseaux mais pour vous informer de l’une des plus grosses manipulations que l’humanité aut connu. Toutes les preuves se trouvent dans la derriere version de mon travail que je vous invite a télécharger et a lire. Pour les plus feignants et les tres occupes, les quelques pages de la conclusion et les liens sur les docs sources vous éclaireront déjà beaucoup.
Je suis tombée malade au moment ou j’ai porté plainte contre les autorités de santé. Je souffre depuis plus d’un an de douleurs atroces partant des lombaires jusque dans les jambes, de brulures dans la peau ,essentiellement dans les jambes et le dos. J’ai consulté des médecins généraliste, neurologues, ostéopathe, virologue, dermatologue, rhumatologue, psychiatre , homéopathe… j’ai avalé des milliers de gélules de compléments alimentaires, des anxiolytiques, des neuroleptiques, des antidouleurs prescrits par le centre antidouleur. J’ai meme fait des seances de bioresonnance et vu des magnétiseurs et ce, sans aucun résultat.
Je suis a bout de ce que je peux supporter.

Je demande pardon a ceux qui m’aiment, vous qui me suivez sur les réseaux sociaux depuis 4 ans, mes amis, mes parents et surtout a dieu ou quel que soit sa nature ou son nom de mettre fin a ma vie, moi qui n’aie eu de cesse de la protéger depuis l’enfance , que ce soit la vie végétale, animale ou humain.
Je remercie du fond du coeur ceux qui m’ont soutenue , encouragée et tous ceux qui prient ou ont organisé des groupes de prière. Je vais vous demander de prier encore pour que mon ame soit au plus vite dans la lumière du créateur.

[BPH @imShhh]

This 👇

[Dara in Chains @DarainChains]

So let's get this straight:
You gatekeep the proper tests, block access to specialized assessments, and then mock patients for relying on assumptions rather than facts?

Talk about systemic gaslighting. Patients are doing the best they can with whatever evidence their families, friends, and traditional doctors can scrape together.

I don’t blame people for guessing when they've been left stranded in the dark. I blame the establishment that knows exactly what this pathophysiology looks like, yet still refuses to approve standard diagnostic tools to prove it in daily practice. The evidence exists, the system just refuses to run the labs.

We must ask ourselves why and then follow up with NOT ON MY WATCH!

[Mike Hoerger, PhD MSCR MBA @michael_hoerger]

As a clinical health psychologist who has written >20 papers on COVID, I would emphasize 4 facts:
1) Long COVID is not a psychological diagnosis nor manifestation of a psychological condition
2) Billions of dollars need to be invested in biomedical treatments and preventives, and that money is not being invested because of wealthy short-term interests, which prop up various narratives, including in the media
3) Behavioral interventions can help with infection/reinfection prevention (e.g., COVI-CAN pilot) and stress/coping support (gaslighting/ostracism as huge issues), but these are not cures, and the same interventions are relevant to people with cancer, organ failure, immunocompromising conditions, etc.
4) Many psychological/behavioral "treatments" for Long COVID are directly harmful to patients and are indirectly harmful to society by incorrectly framing the issues

I would consider these issues obvious in summer 2020.

Articles like this should not be written in 2026, but it is a consequences of cultural evolution, or organizational selection by consequences. The organizations that write puff pieces propping up pseudoscience get the gold, while truth tellers do not. It would be useful to examine the organizational practices at WIRED that led to the incentive systems that allowed this piece to manifest.

[Sabrina F. @itsmeback_]

🔻OGNI LOTTO DI VACCINO AVEVA UNA FORMULA DIVERSA. I NUMERI DI LOTTO LO PROVAVANO.
Non una teoria.
Non un'interpretazione.
Un set di dati. 12.000 numeri di lotto. Incrociati con i rapporti di eventi avversi del VAERS. La correlazione è assoluta.
Un team di ricercatori - 4 statistici, 2 farmacologi, 1 ex regolatore della FDA - ha pubblicato i loro risultati su un server decentralizzato mercoledì. Il documento è di 147 pagine. La revisione paritaria era impossibile perché nessuna rivista l'avrebbe accettata. Così l'hanno rilasciato direttamente al pubblico.
La scoperta: specifici numeri di lotto hanno prodotto eventi avversi 4.000% in più rispetto ad altri.
Non variazione casuale.
Non incoerenza di produzione.
Un modello deliberato e sistematico.
Numeri di lotto che terminano con 20A fino a 20F: eventi avversi quasi nulli. Soluzione salina. Placebo. Acqua con un'etichetta.
Numeri di lotto che terminano con 21K fino a 21X: eventi avversi moderati. Stanchezza. Miocardite. Coaguli di sangue. Tassi di ospedalizzazione del 300% sopra la linea di base.
Numeri di lotto che terminano con 22R fino a 22Z: catastrofici. Ictus. Arresto cardiaco. Danni neurologici. Tassi di mortalità dell'8.100% sopra la norma statistica per qualsiasi prodotto farmaceutico nella storia.
Tre livelli. Tre formule. Distribuiti in un modello che assicurava che nessun singolo ospedale, nessuna singola città, nessuna singola demografia ricevesse abbastanza dosi catastrofiche da innescare un segnale statistico evidente.
Hanno definito i danni come "effetti collaterali rari". Ma non erano rari. Erano mirati.
Il modello di distribuzione non era casuale. I lotti catastrofici sono stati inviati in modo sproporzionato a specifici codici postali. Codici postali con alte concentrazioni di veterani militari. Primi soccorritori. Proprietari di imprese indipendenti. Comunità con una conformità storicamente bassa ai mandati federali.
Le persone più propense a resistere hanno ricevuto le dosi più pericolose.
I lotti moderati sono andati ai centri urbani con un elevato consumo di media - popolazioni che avrebbero segnalato sintomi lievi, avrebbero sentito che era "normale" e sarebbero tornate per i richiami senza esitazioni.
I lotti placebo sono andati a politici, personaggi dei media e dirigenti farmaceutici. Le persone che lo promuovevano in televisione. Le persone che ti dicevano che era "sicuro ed efficace" mentre ricevevano la soluzione salina.
Hanno preso lo stesso vaccino in televisione. Non hanno preso la stessa formula.
I 12.000 numeri di lotto sono ora mappati. Ogni lotto.
Ogni destinazione. Ogni risultato. I dati sono sulla blockchain. Non possono essere ritirati. Non possono essere cancellati dalla memoria. Non possono essere verificati fino all'oblio.
L'ex regolatore della FDA del team ha presentato il set di dati al tribunale militare con una singola dichiarazione: "Questa non è stata negligenza. Questo era un protocollo di dispiegamento di armi mascherato da sanità pubblica."
Il tribunale ha accettato come prova giovedì mattina. Numero di caso: GT-2026-0441.
Ogni numero di lotto è un'impronta digitale.
Ogni evento avverso è un testimone. Ogni certificato di morte è un'accusa.
CODICE: LOT-NUMBERS / 3-TIERS / ZIP-TARGETED / GT-2026-0441
Non hanno dato a tutti la stessa dose. Hanno dato a tutti la dose assegnata.
Ora la lista delle assegnazioni è una prova.

- M-B Technology

[KenCaptn20114 @KenCaptn20114]

Yes sir. The media and the government work hard to silence us all. This is a crisis and its about to slam into everyones life. Corrosive soceity. Well Im not injured so not my problem. Deflating to say the least. Its different when you see children. Hits harder becomes everyones problem.

[BPH @imShhh]

@PunkyBrewstuh Oh boy looks so nice. Glad you are able to enjoy being out for a little bit.

[Dr. Alice 💕 @calirunnerdoc]

I just spent two days helping my elderly mother clean up after a financial fraud scam. It’s an infuriating, violating nightmare, and it proves that preying on the sick and vulnerable has become a trendy, multi-billion-dollar business model.

Perhaps the only ones more soulless and diabolical than those grifting on Long Covid patients are elderly scam predators, who are systematically bleeding seniors dry with their increasingly complex scams. In Mom’s case, it spanned across her entire portfolio, and involved multiple banks.

The fundamental cruelty is that neither population has a safety net. A senior cannot easily rebuild a lifetime of savings, and a profoundly ill Long Covid patient cannot easily restore destroyed health, careers, and financial reserves.

Meanwhile, our regulatory authorities are- as usual- completely asleep at the wheel. Instead of protecting the public, they leave ordinary families to pick up the broken pieces entirely on their own.

I hope empathy and basic decency come back in style soon, because this current era of unchecked exploitation is exhausting.

And no- it’s not PEM.

[࿐ Alba ࿐ @AlbaDocherty]

Had Covid? Have you had these things ruled out? No?

This is a *short* list of clinically-provable conditions in Long Covid that some orgs and other interests want you to think is (not-biomedically validated in Long Covid) MECFS instead. Many of these issues demand medical attention. Many of them have viable treatments that could help ppl right now. Many of them cause sudden death...we haven't seen any of that, have we?

Dementia & Vascular Dementia - If you've had Covid, you have a 41% higher risk of dementia and a 77% higher risk of vascular dementia. This is anything but MECFS "cognitive PEM".

Thrombotic microangiopathy - Microclots throughout small blood vessels severely limit oxygen and nutrient delivery to tissues. When you exert yourself, tissues cannot get enough oxygen to meet even minimal increased demands. This creates oxygen debt and toxic metabolite buildup that triggers a systemic crash - the delayed, prolonged exhaustion and multi-system symptoms can resemble MECFS.

With organs already barely functioning due to poor blood flow, any extra activity pushes the whole system over the edge, causing a collapse that takes days or weeks to recover from.

Heart failure (including HFpEF) - Heart Failure with Preserved Ejection Fraction is particularly insidious. Standard echos can look "normal" but the heart can't properly relax and fill. Causes exercise intolerance, shortness of breath, and fatigue that worsens with activity. Sound familiar?

Interstitial lung disease/fibrosis - Scarring of lung tissue causing progressive breathing difficulty and exercise limitation that can seem like PEM.

Chronic thromboembolic disease - Clots organizing in lungs, causing progressive right heart strain. The "PEM-like Sx" are driven by the heart-lung unit hitting a wall - any exertion beyond minimal activity causes systemic oxygen starvation and cardiac strain that takes days to recover from. Unlike deconditioning, rest doesn't improve capacity because the structural blockages remain.

Diaphragmatic dysfunction - Nerve or muscle damage to breathing muscles, causing "air hunger" and exercise limitation that can seem like PEM.

Pulmonary hypertension - High blood pressure in lung arteries causes severe fatigue and breathlessness with exertion that can be misdiagnosed as PEM. Often missed without right heart catheterization.

Silent myocardial ischemia - Reduced blood flow to heart muscle without typical chest pain. Can present as fatigue, exercise intolerance, PEM.

Aortic stenosis or other valve disease - Can develop from Covid infection and cause exercise intolerance that is often dismissed as deconditioning and/or PEM.

Microvascular dysfunction - Covid can cause small vessel disease affecting coronary, cerebral, or peripheral circulation can cause fatigue, exercise intolerance, and cognitive issues that worsen with exertion.

Pulmonary embolism (including microemboli) - Covid can cause blood clots in lungs, especially smaller chronic ones, that can cause progressive exercise intolerance and fatigue.

Myocarditis or pericarditis - Post-viral heart inflammation can cause exercise intolerance, fatigue, and chest symptoms that worsen with activity. This requires proper cardiac imaging and biomarker testing to diagnose, but can be mistaken as PEM.

POTS and dysautonomia - Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome and other autonomic dysfunctions can cause profound fatigue and post-exertional symptoms, but require specific testing and treatment, quite contrary to how Yale's Akiko Iwasaki & Harlan Krumholz run POTS "studies".

Cerebral hypoperfusion - Reduced blood flow to the brain can cause cognitive dysfunction, fatigue, and exercise intolerance that is misclassed as PEM. This can result from Covid vascular damage, autonomic dysfunction, or other mechanisms that result in symptoms that sound a lot like PEM.

Small vessel cerebrovascular disease - Microinfarcts or white matter changes from vascular damage could cause cognitive impacts and fatigue that can be mislabeled as MECFS.

Neuroinflammation - Direct viral invasion or immune-mediated inflammation in the nervous system could cause symptoms attributed to PEM: Hypersensitivity to noise, light, and temperature; memory problems, difficulty with attention, persistent forgetfulness, difficulty focusing, slowed information processing, etc. that appear similar to "cognitive PEM".

Cerebral venous sinus thrombosis - Blood clots in brain's drainage system. Can cause headaches, cognitive issues, and fatigue that can be misdiagnosed as MECFS, before catastrophic events occur.

Progressive atherosclerosis - Covid accelerates plaque formation. Carotid or coronary artery disease developing years faster than normal. This Covid-induced condition present with MECFS-like symptoms through a mechanism of exertion-triggered ischemia and delayed recovery.

Vasculitis - Covid can cause blood vessel inflammation throughout body. Can affect any organ system and progress to organ failure if untreated. Patients experience malaise, fatigue, and generalized weakness. Covid-induced systemic vasculitis can produce MECFS-like symptoms through multi-organ hypoperfusion and inflammatory exhaustion that worsen with exertion.

COVID-19 causes brain and neurological damages that produce symptoms remarkably similar to the generic Dx checklist MECFS, isn't that convenient? Especially when doctors & ins companies won't cover the scans required to prove your brain damages, vascular damages, dementias, etc. Insurance companies LOVE the medical-care-ending-zero-treatment MECFS Dx. It's so much cheaper to tell 400M ppl to pace than to develop targeted treatments for them, isn't it?

This is a short list conditions that can be caused by Covid, are found in Long Covid, and that require medical treatment, not to be written off as MECFS.

[࿐ Alba ࿐ @AlbaDocherty]

→ 52M Americans now have low T-Cells
→ The risk of dying earlier is 2x, if they're lower than 1k, with or without disease.

"This is profound."

#LongCovid #LongCovidKills

[BPH @imShhh]

@AlbaDocherty And she's a pretty big account with lots of followers.

[BPH @imShhh]

So I see Daves post this morning https://t.co/3aoHnuWLIC and then this comes across my timeline. 😡

[Dåve @brokenbarpublic]

Whatever this #LongCovid blindness issue is, it's getting worse. I continue to get more and more cotton wool spots in both eyes. My doctors however seem uninterested. The left eye acuity is gone now and I cannot focus close or far. Central vision in left eye is starting to get really weird.

To top it off, this week I developed a rather large scotoma in my left visual field (bilateral). it's about 8-10 degrees left of center, and about 3 degrees above center. Its characteristics mean it's almost certainly brain related.

It's uncomfortable and it makes tracking difficult. It sort of makes the periphery confuse my brain and wrecks contrast, but beyond that it's hard to explain. I'll admit I'm a little worried - Well, maybe concerned. I rarely worry. My vision is a mess from a single covid infection and it's getting worse and the idea of going blind is not all that enticing.

It's not really my style to complain about my suffering here so I don't know why I'm sharing this.

Maybe it's because I really don't think #LongCovid is going to end well for me and I need to help myself come to terms with that reality. It's been over 6 years and despite some small gains it's simply not getting better in a way that makes a huge difference in my quality of life or those who are supporting me.

That last part makes me feel heavy. There is nothing quite like being the dead weight in the lives of others you love who are waiting for your miraculous comeback. There is noting like having people who truly love you suffer along side and die slowly for that curse.

Others complain that people have left them. I've had that too. I know what thats like. Most of my friends are now gone. They've moved on with living, as I would too. But for me, it pales in comparison to the pain of your loved ones suffering.

Sometimes in my darker moments I ask the question "why me?" It's something I try to avoid because it fills my head with non-actionable thoughts. It fills my heart with grief and anger that cant be satisfied. And it drives me to resent those who live unaffected but cant be burdened with the task of helping.

Maybe it was the severity my acute phase, maybe something else. I don't fuckin' know. Maybe I should not have made it. Maybe I should not be here now. Maybe it would have been better to just die in the hospital in 2020. That is also something that crosses my mind when the abject realness of this cuts through the silence I try to avoid.

There are so many maybes and somany why's. But at this point, there is one thing I know for sure. Only one thing I can say with certainty.

And that is that this hasn't exactly been fun, It's been hell. And there has not yet been a return on the investment in suffering I've made with the hope that something will change.

So fuck this disease. Fuck anyone who mocks it, dismisses it, or shames us for sharing our stories our thoughts or opinions. We aren't hurting anyone by telling the world how bad this virus can be. We aren't hurting anyone by telling people to protect themselves and to save themselves from a fate that offers no quarter.

Fuck the little wicked social media whores who say otherwise. Fuck the frauds using us. fuck lying grifting spineless little shits who only serve themselves in a world thats promises us more pain.

Fuck em all.

They'll be lucky if I never recover.

[BPH @imShhh]

@AlbaDocherty That's true, it just upsets me people saying covid is nothing more than a cold after the horrific damage it has done to us. She's contributing to making people deny that we have long covid. 😡