sam schmitz

they paint me as a villain, I just autograph the artwork

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

my life lately

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

same, but pretend I look like this😌🥰

[TINA SNOW @theestallion]

Working📸🐍

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

I was talking to a guy who said he had to return his cat because he didn’t have time for them. Ask me if I read the red flag, and then ask me if I’m surprised. (I did not and I shouldn’t be, but here we are)

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

@emeraldashtray YOU GOT THAT RIGHT🤣🤣

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

“You make so much money, it’s not like you can’t afford therapy” has got to be one of the most unhinged things I’ve heard this week. But not the most unhinged unfortunately.

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

@RBharaniah My therapist told me there was nothing else she could do lol, I am not rich enough in motivation to find another. It’s the depression

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

Same category as an ex asking “do you even wash your face” when I was PLAGUED with acne in high school. Why didn’t I think of that WOW?!

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

Idk bro, I think you’re a special type of annoying if you feel the need to repost every one of the times someone tells you “happy birthday” on your story.

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

I love having sisters at home so I can still be in the loop with all the delusional shit my parents say. But also cannot wait for them to be out of the house so I can stop hearing all the delusional shit my parents say.

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

Something to consider, in case you lack common sense or decency: if you feel the need to apologize for “overstepping” or “making it weird” after saying something, maybe just stfu. Bc I’m not going to placate you. You did make it weird and you make me uncomfortable. Bye bye, now!

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

@emeraldashtray Forever my greatest piece😌

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

If I didn’t love @bunnyb_2117’s art so much, this would be my background.

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

@emeraldashtray Not saying I won’t do it again, just gotta be prepared😂 they can sometimes build a half decent deck so🤷🏻‍♀️☠️

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

@emeraldashtray They’re all broke and having drinking problems❤️

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

@emeraldashtray They can tell me why caused me to be this way, but not how to fix it🤣 at least it’s good for a laugh🫠🥲

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

I actually don’t think I need to pay for therapy. I’ll just loudly bitch about my problems and let my FBI agent send me tik toks about my issues.

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

Looking for a man who can have a thought independent from his mother (or a mother or isn’t still trying to date her son)

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

The guy I had the fattest crush on freshman year OF HS just approached me at the bar. Three hours away from home? And it was weird? I didn’t even recognize him. This has to be a simulation fr bc how? And why? Shits just out here happening like???

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

@emeraldashtray PHAAAA NOOOO!!! The very far in the future daughter🤣

[sam schmitz @imagine_sam12]

I can’t wait to actually teach my daughter what to look for in a man🩵