You think you wish to be understood, until you realise the implications of what being understood means - it is to be utterly dissected - exposed - all your weapons known, catalogued and anticipated - your every point of shame revealed, it is the ultimate vulnerability. It is to lay your head on the lap of the one who grasps you, and with exposed jugular and nothing but faith to say: "Do not behead me."
So more accurately, it is not that you generally wish to be understood, but simply more the case you are frustrated by how people tarnish you with their uncharitable misunderstandings, and that, ideally, you would be understood fully by one person and one person alone: the sole soul you call your sweetheart, the one you see as the extension of yourself beyond yourself that you would merge and become one with - your beautiful exception - but otherwise, you should desire to be completely and utterly an enigma: a vicious paradox - confusing, misunderstood, illegible - for it is that which keeps your most fiercely guarded treasure safe - your inner world - the little Eden that only you and your chosen who chose you may taste and explore.
When people persecute you, God takes it personally. When they come against you, really, they’re coming against Him. You don’t have to defend yourself. You have a defender. The Most High God will take care of your persecutors.
Don't miss this powerful message, "Blessed with Persecution." https://t.co/kNnMjb1SU6
The Scripture says, “Never avenge yourself, but leave the matter in the hands of God.” God knows how to vindicate you. You don’t have to force these things to happen, prove to people, get even, change their mind. No, stay in peace. Keep doing the right thing.
It is very very very simple. If a woman needs you to always be on your A game, always "be on", never show weakness, never have goofy or dumb moments, always be funny, dominant, charming - always perform, and never just be your innate genuine self - that women is not interested in you as a soul, but as a symbol and tool who can make her feel a certain way. That's it. There is no real human connection there.
It also means when you're with a woman who does appreciate your heart and connect with you on a deeper level, you will be too closed off/self-protecting/game playing because of how women have treated you before. Because you have these little rules and conclusions in your head based upon your previous observations and experiences.
What I am trying to tell you, is when you internalise rules like "never show weakness" and "women only say they like romantic men but actually don't and will mistreat you if you are" - you are actually selecting for the horrible, shallow, arrogant low quality women WHO ARE like this which only confirms your biases.
So you engage in the adaptive "player behaviour", see the successful sexual payoff from your performance, and conclude you are right and have successfully adapted by applying your "deeper insight into women", not realising you are filtering out the less prevalent but more marriageable women who do appreciate romantic depth, and don't punish it with callousness, withdrawal or mind games - because those are the type of women who avoid and reject men with guarded hearts.
Essentially, instead of protecting your purity of soul as a man and holding out for a truly spiritually beautiful woman, you "adapt to the game" which makes you better at handling/controlling/maintaining the very type of women you should be staying away from, who are no good for you, who are all the negative things men online repeatedly complain about: treacherous, promiscuous, fickle etc.
This is also why many women value a man with "a virgin heart" - they realise a man who has loved deeply before and was humiliated, abandoned or otherwise not properly honoured has likely closed his heart after being mistreated, and will be less emotionally available and reachable in a way conducive to deep romantic union, as well as more tactical in a way that instrumentalises rather than sacralises her.
This is the closest thing to "getting used up" there is for a man. It's not exactly the same as it is with women, who I do think are more profoundly affected by past attachments, but it's the lack of devotional purity and defensive psychology in weary men that is off-putting to pure hearted marriage-minded women.
But nobody is going to tell you this, because nobody you know probably knows any women who are worth marrying. In your world, most the woman are garbage and so that's the game you've adapted to play: how to get the most out of garbage women. But it's not actually deep insight into female nature as a universal per se, it's insight into how to sexually succeed in a morally decadent and subfertile culture.
Ask yourself for a moment, if you were a woman, would you want a man who is not capable of deep love and devotion because his previous negative experiences with women have led him to conclusions such as "women mistreat you if you are romantic with them" ? No. You would write him off as broken/damaged/incapable of giving you the pure love you seek.
This is why male purity is important too - not in the bodily sense, but in the devotional sense, from a woman's point of view (not a garbage narcissistic woman's point of view, who only cares about status, money, looks and material markers) but from a serious woman's point of view: is he able to love deeply and purely? If not, what kind of husband are you going to be? You will not be bound to her, you will always treat her as an option.
I really think, genuinely a lot of men for all their study of intergender dynamics, do not grasp female psychology at all. Women are generally very bad at expressing themselves despite being very good with words (lack of logic, linearity to their thought sequences or both), but if you can find any remotely marriageable woman and show her these paragraphs, I assure you with a very high degree of confidence she will agree with all if not most of it.