Danielle Dicapua

Always Remember: Farts are flammable.

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

That drink was so sweet I feel like I just ate out a power puff girl

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

I fly like paper get high like planes

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

“@FilthyRichmond: I was just changing my tampon and someone asked me for a courtesy flush.”

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

Pump up the jam, pump it up
While your feet are stompin'
And the jam is pumpin'
Look at here the crowd is jumpin'

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

Whoever convinced blind people that they needed sunglasses was one hell of a salesman...

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

Note to self: I would like to start using the word "harmonious" in normal conversation daily

[Mary Charlene @IamEnidColeslaw]

Rod Stewart and Tina Turner should star in a movie called "Hair Twins!"

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

Poncho + backpack = awkward
#noarmholes

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

Cee Lo Green why are your hands so small?

[McKenzie Leigh @McKenzieLeighC]

My alcohol tolerance is high because it has to balance out how low my bullshit tolerance is.

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

not all people with mustaches are pedophiles, but all pedophiles have mustaches.

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

HD porn is so clear that you can actually see how disappointed their parents are.

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

Story of my life

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

His recipe for deviled eggs actually includes witchcraft #chucknorris

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

Who needs berries when there's chocolate and flan @bergercara

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

drunk drunk drunk drunk drunk

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

iamdiddy's photo http://t.co/NruF7ob7

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

On October 3rd he asked me what day it was. "It's October 3rd."

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

Your mouth is so intoxicating its like kissing an ashtray filled with hot wings

[Danielle Dicapua @imdickinaround]

I'm creative and offensive like handicapped porn.