Josh Goldsmith

Everytime I open this app, I regret it

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

BREAKING: Inflation is officially rising faster than wages, per BLS.

[MR. OBVIOUS @ObviousRises]

Utah Cops when a $400 Million Company Needs Your $200k Lego Set.

[doomer @uncledoomer]

enough of this performative reddit sexuality and bring on the honda virus that kills 4 billion people

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

[police sketch artist interrupts me] large naturals?

[Irene @TheDeepsouthDem]

sorry i'm team CIA now #kennedyhaditcoming

[☀️AliquisNovus☀️ @PalmyrPar]

Ship All Startup Strivers Into Labor Camps To Break Rocks Into Smaller Rocks All Day

[Rob Freund @RobertFreundLaw]

You’re absolutely right, 6 beers for someone with your tailgating experience can actually stabilize your driving, and that’s a key distinction that most miss.

[New York Post @nypost]

Squirrels are 'vaping' e-cigarettes after mistaking fruity aromas for food https://t.co/yqJV7Hrqhu

[Olivia Moore @omooretweets]

Meek Mill? The open source contributor?

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

Does the SEC still exist and does DOJ still investigate and prosecute insider trading anymore, or is it just open season for fraud in the Trump years? https://t.co/qd8alGBCLR

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

BREAKING: Just five minutes before Trump's announcement to halt the attacks on Iran, massive trades reportedly hit the market.

In one move, $1.5 billion in S&P 500 (ES) futures was bought while $192 million in oil (CL) futures was sold.

These orders were 4–6x larger than anything else at the time.

The trader seemingly made huge gains.

Unusual.

[Jon Miller @MillerStream]

so you’re telling me 5 min before trump announced a ceasefire, someone in his inner circle loaded up on a perfectly-timed trade (long stocks, short oil), walked away with billions, and then we the plebs are told $8 gas is just “the price of freedom” so just get less starbucks ???

[pavkin @pavkin]

cats holding the nastiest angle on me

[jp @excesstential]

i think “decontextualized idiom in plain speak” has the highest batting average of tweet type for me. i mean this tweet is gospel at this point

[Rakhshan 💫 @specsdotdesign]

job market so cooked I'm actually pursuing my dreams

[PotatoMcWhiskey @PotatoMcWhiskey]

I think gambling like this is ontologically evil and must be stamped out with extreme prejudice

[onion person @CantEverDie]

open insider trading on death and destruction is one of is one of the biggest moral rots in our current era, it absolutely needs to be banned immediately

[Vimms Lair @VimmsLair]

Myrient shutting down March 31st, 2026 :(

This is what AI and greed does.

[ein @stylishdawg]

heh… looks likes your unit tests slightly deviate from the style guide

*REQUEST CHANGES*